A Win is a Win
by omnidestruction5678
Summary: Natsu, after being beaten by Erza for the umpteenth time, take a walk to think of a new strategy. During his walk, he meets a weird, old, man who offers to teach Natsu a new technique to beat Erza. Yet, how will Erza react when Natsu uses this technique on her and how will it affect her relationship with Natsu? Slight crossover and home for Natsu/Crack ideas.
1. Chapter 1

I recently became a fan of fairy tail and the pairing Natsu and Erza, so I took a crack attempt at it to see how it turns out and maybe this will inspire more crack ideas for Natsu and Erza or Natsu/Harem. About my other stories, well I want to say I'm going to finish them but I can't. I went to college last year and I have to tell everyone I am doing well, constantly making the dean list, making new friends, and enjoying life, so my free time is about gone. I did want to create a Natsu/Erza stories after being inspired by Neoshadows and I.-.-.I Kuroyagi I.-.-.I and some of the Naruto stories I read. If you read Naruto fanfiction and can guess some of the influences on this story, pat yourself on the back.

* * *

Our story begins with a young man slowly walking down the streets of Magnolia mumbling to himself. The young man is known as Natsu Dragneel and his mumbling focused on a young red haired swordswoman from his guild.

"Argh, there has to be a way that I can beat Erza!"

Yes, my readers. Our favorite Dragon Slayer thoughts were on how to finally beat Erza Scarlett after being brutally throttled by her for the thousandth time.

Natsu pouted as he kicked a rock at his feet and continued on his path. Despite the fact that he has grown incredibly strong throughout his adventure, gaining the lightning-flame dragon mode and the Dragon Force mode, he still could not beat Erza in a spar. Part of the problem might be with the fact that in a spar, he could not use his full strength, as he did not want to harm Erza. Yet, he hated losing every single spar he had against her.

Due to Natsu mental predicament, he did not pay attention to where he was walking until…

BAM!

Natsu groaned from his new spot on the ground, not knowing what hit him until he looked up and stared at the strangest man he ever saw. Even from his spot on the ground, Natsu could tell this man easily dwarfed him in height. The man had long, spiky, white, hair that reached to the middle of his back. His clothes only added to his strangeness, wearing a green gi with a red vest over it and a metal headband with the kanji for oil on it.

The man grinned as he extended a hand to Natsu, "Sorry, about that." as he easily lifted Natsu up.

Natsu could only stare at the strange man and had to ask. "Who are you?"

The man grinned as he took a few steps back, "I'm glad you asked! I am the greatest warrior from the East, I am the nightmare to evil across the world, and I am the conqueror of the hearts of beautiful woman, I am the gallant Jiraiya!" he finished with a row of fireworks and dancing toads of various sizes behind him.

Noticing the bizarre look on Natsu face, Jiraiya grinned "_Yep still got it."_

Natsu felt his eye twitch at the strangeness in front of him. He slowly began to take steps back to retreat into the safety of his guild. "Okaaaay. Well, I am going to leave you alone and go back to my guild now."

Just before Natsu could take off, Jiraiya grabbed his hand. Before Natsu could punch Jiraiya, Jiraiya said "Hey, I know this mark; you are a member of Fairy Tail right?"

Natsu blinked, "Yeah, how did you know." Jiraiya grinned, "I don't like to toot my horn but I happen to be good friends with Guild Master Makarov. Hey I noticed that something had you done before you ran into me, want to talk about it?"

Natsu thought about it and shrugged, if this man was friends with Makarov, then maybe he can give him a few tips on becoming a better fighter. So, he explained to Jiraiya his situation.

Jiraiya listened quietly to Natsu and rubbed his chin when Natsu finished. Natsu looked up hopefully "So Jiraiya-san, if your friends with Master Makarov then you have to be really strong! Is their anything you can teach me?"

Jiraiya thought hard about the situation, "You said the person you were trying to beat was a girl right?"

Natsu nodded, and then he felt fear as a perverted grin spread across Jiraiya face.

* * *

4 hours later:

The Fairy Tail guild was alive and energetically as everyone talked, fought, or took on missions. Yep, it was an ordinary day.

BAM!

Until a fireball burned down the door and flew into the hall. People screamed as the ball jumped back and forth across the room lighting anything it touched on fire (and repeatedly slamming into Gray, lighting him on fire whenever he put himself out.)

"What's going on!" cried Wendy as she held Happy and Charlie close as the fireball hovered in the air and a voice filled the guild,

"I am the hero of Fairy Tail! I am the strongest of the Dragon Slayers! I am the light that burns away all evil!" the ball of fire exploded sending waves of harmless sparks out (to everyone that was not Gray, who the sparks decided to cover in third degree burns). Out of the fireball fell Natsu, who quickly did an impromptu dance similar to a certain toad pervert, before he thrust his fist into the air, unleashing a stream of flames.

"I am the notorious Natsu, the Fire Dragon Slayer!" as the fires began to die out, everyone could only think one thing.

"What the fuck!"

Well everyone except a certain red head who quickly stood up and punched Natsu in the mouth sending him into a wall.

"Natsu, what the hell were you thinking!?" screamed an angry Erza Scarlett, "You could have burned the guild down!" while everyone nodded, who conveniently forget about a heavily burned Gray who laid twitching on the floor. Well everyone except Juvia.

Gray's eyes widened in horror as a grinning Juvia grabbed his legs and began to drag him out of the hall, putting Gray through a whole new hell as he realized burns plus being dragged across a wooden floor equals an unimaginable pain. Yet, this did not stop Juvia, who looked back over her shoulder and said "Don't worry Gray-sama, Juvia will tend to your every need, and you can help me tend to all of my needs, and I mean **every need.**

Gray could not do anything except mentally scream as Juvia dragged him out the door and deep into the prison that was her room.

* * *

Back to Natsu:

Natsu grinned as he pulled himself out of the wall, "Ah, come on Erza! You have to admit my entrance was pretty cool!"

"Natsu sending wave of fire across a room is never a good idea!" screamed Erza, "Somebody could have got hurt." The guild nodded as they once again forgot about Gray who was currently be handcuffed to Juvia's bed.

Natsu shrugged. "Never mind that." Natsu grinned as he pointed a finger at Erza "Erza, I challenge you to a fight!"

Erza sighed as she crossed her arms, "Natsu, I already beat you today, why would I want to fight you again?"

Natsu frowned before he came up with an idea, "How about this? If you beat me today, I'll do anything you want!"

This got Erza attention. "Anything?" she asked, already getting an idea about what she could do with a dragon slayer for two weeks.

Natsu gulped as he caught the look Erza was giving him, but refusing to back down, "Yeah, anything!"

Erza smiled, not for those who did not know this Erza had a crush on the pink-haired dragon slayer. Now, nobody knows this because Erza refused to acknowledge such feeling unless she was certain Natsu would return them. With two week with Natsu as her personal slave, she could finally learn if the dragon slayer felt the same as her. Then after they confess, they would kiss, then they would take their clothes off, and then Erza would be pinned against a wall by a very eager dragon slayer and ….

ERZA!

Erza awoke from her daydream with a start, quickly wiping away the droll from her lip, "W-what happened?"

Wendy spoke up "Well, Natsu told you about the deal to the spar then your eyes went blank, and your face turned red, and you started moaning Natsu na- EEK." Charlie decided to take this moment to cover Wendy mouth.

Erza blushed before turning to look at the other guild members "I am sure Wendy is mistaken and that nobody heard anything like that. Right?" everyone quickly nodded their heads wanting to avoid Titainia's wrath.

Erza composed herself before looking at Natsu, "Natsu, I accept your deal and I'll meet you outside in ten minutes."

Natsu grinned as Erza departed and everyone followed hoping to get a good seat for the match, everyone except Gildartz and Makarov. Gildartz looked towards Makarov and said. "Natsu's entrance, is it me or does it remind you of someone else's entrance."

Makarov nodded, "Gildartz, I have a very bad suspicion of who taught Natsu that kind of entrance, and it leads me to two ideas. Either we will need to prep the entire medical quarter for Natsu after Erza is finished with him, or we should bring everyone camera we have in this building to that fight and enjoy the show."

* * *

Omake:

Lisanna smiled as she walked home after a day at the guild. Today was quite successful as she had a great conversation with Natsu, finally getting a chance to discuss how each other was doing and rekindle the connection they had with each other. It unfortunately had to end when her older sister, Mirajane, needed Natsu to help her with chores.

This brought various worries to her mind when she remembered how Edo!Mirajane treated Natsu. After Edo!Lisanna death, Mirajane was a mess, but Natsu Dragion, despite being a timid mild manner driver, spent every moment he had cheering her up. He would bring her sweets, took her out for rides, and became her pillar of support. Mirajane feelings for Natsu grew until she fell head over heels for him, and made sure everyone knew who he was meant to be with. Lisanna shivered when she remembered how Lucy Ashley tried to make a move on Natsu and what happened when Mirajane found out.

Mirajane simply took Lucy out to the guild garage and showed her a car Natsu used for spare parts for other cars. She simply told Lucy to stay away from Natsu and for added effect, punched a hole through the hood and engine block of the car. Lucy wisely left Natsu alone after that.

While that did happen in Edolas, Lisanna could not help but feel wary of how Earthland's Mirajane acted around Natsu. She frowned as she reached the door to the Strauss household; "_No way_" she thought _"What are the chances of Natsu and Mirajane having the same relationship as their Edolas counterparts."_

Her thoughts were interrupted when she open the door and the sounds of moans reached her ear, and her eyes widened in shock as the sight in front of her. Mirajane, the source of the moaning, lied on her front in a very skimpy string bikini as Natsu wearing a pair of swimming trunks and nothing else massaged oils into her back.

Natsu looked up and waved, "Hey Lisanna." and quickly returned his hands to the massage as Mirajane moan encourage him to continue.

Lisanna stood in shock as the sight registered in her brain before she quickly ran forward grabbed her sister and dragged her into the kitchen.

Lisanna glared daggers at her sister "What the hell do you think your doing?!"

Mirajane smiled, "Well during the chores Natsu was helping me with I felt a strange pain in my back, it grew so bad, that I had to lay down. Natsu, being helpful, offered to give me a massage and despite my reluctance I was putty in his hands as soon as he touched me."

"And why are you wearing so little clothes?" growled Lisanna.

"Well, he found an old bottle of massage oil I was given as a gift and we didn't want to dirty our clothes so we decided to change."

Lisanna frowned but when faced with her sister and her nicest smile; she couldn't help but trust her. "Okay, Mirajane. I am sorry for doubting you."

Mirajane waved her apology away, "Do not worry about it Lisanna, but I do have a question though? Could you stay with Lucy tonight?"

Lisanna blinked in confusion, "Why?"

Mirajane grinned, "Well, Natsu was so nice to give me a massage; I wanted to return the favor. Especially to a certain part of his" Mirajane mumbled under her breath but Lisanna still managed to here it.

Lisanna growled, "You're trying to seduce Natsu!"

Mirajane shrugged and crossed her arms under her breast, doing wondrous things to them since she untied her bra during the massage and left it in the living room when Lisanna dragged her into the kitchen.

"You say seducing, I say providing Natsu with a bit of relief and the promise of more if he pursues a relationship with me." Mirajane grinned letting some of her old personality stand out.

"Dammit, Mirajane! He's mine! I said I am going to marry him!" Lisanna growled as he more violent animal take over came to mind, realizing the threat Mirajane posed toward them keeping their mate.

"Well, maybe Natsu like more full-figured women and not girls with mosquito bite boobs." Mirajane would not be cowed by her younger sister as her own take over spirits reacted towards the woman who wanted the same mate they chose.

"You bitch!" Lisanna screamed and tackled Mirajane taking them both to the floor where they began to fight.

Hearing the commotion Natsu rushed into the kitchen to help when he tripped and ended up pulled into the fight as the Strauss sister fought against each other as well as pull Natsu closer to themselves.

This continued until Elfman walked into the home to find a compromising scene. Natsu was currently on the ground with Mirajane and Lisanna on top of him. One of his hands held a firm grip on Mirajane breast getting a satisfied moan from her as his other hand fondled Lisanna ass provoking a moan from her as well.

To say Elfman did not react well would be an understatement.

* * *

Omake 2 aka Pervy Natsu:

Everything was calm in Fairy Tail. The fact that the words 'calm' and 'Fairy Tail' were in the same sentence proved how wrong the situation was. The normally rowdy guild was subdued as it has been for the last four years since the fire dragon slayer left on a training trip with Makarov's old friend Jiraiya.

As the guild went about their day with a more subdued manner, the doors to the building flew open and a white hair blur darted through the room, and into Makarov office.

Makarov was surprised to see his old friend Jiraiya in his office but for some reason he did not know, he was apologizing to him.

"Makarov! Please forgive me, I am so sorry!" cried Jiraiya as he bowed to his friend.

"What are you talking about Jiraiya?" said a confused Makarov.

"It's about Natsu!" before Jiraiya continued, he was instantly surrounded by the anger mages of Fairy Tail, who stood outside Makarov's office and eavesdropped on the conversation.

Jiraiya found himself with various elements, guns, and blades pointed at his face as a very angry Erza Scarlet growled, "What have you done to Natsu?"

Jiraiya looked downcast, "I let him have sex."

Unfortunately, Jiraiya should have gone into more details because the moment the guide members heard the five words they immediately thought the worst.

"YOU BASTARD! HE MOLESTED NATSU!" screamed Mirajane who performed a Satan Soul Take-over as everyone prepared to perform their strongest magic and send Jiraiya into oblivion if Makarov hadn't grab a screaming Jiraiya and pulled him to safety.

"Everyone calm down! I am sure Jiraiya has a good explanation" stated Makarov, "and if he doesn't, I pop his head like a pimple!" which he could easily do with his titan sized hand.

Jiraiya gulped, "Well this is what happened, Natsu and I were adventuring across the land when we came to a town that had a guild called Sabertooth, Natsu ran into a girl name Minerva and they somehow hit it off. So, they went out to train and spar. The problem is that during their training, clothes got ripped, skin got exposed, and they got a little hot under the collar. Basically, they started fucking like rabbits. If this was anyone else, it would not have been a problem, but this is Natsu. Everyone here knows that Natsu strength comes from his emotions." Everyone nodded. "Well, apparently, Igneel forgot to warn Natsu about sex and a fire dragon slayer magic. After digging through a few old books, I discovered a secret about fire dragon slayers. Since their powers are greatly influenced by emotion, many of them live a celibate life. The reason why is once the experience the pleasure of sex, they go mad for it, they take a true dragon mindset and go on missions to find powerful mates of the opposite sex to create offspring with."

Gajeel could not hold back anymore, "You're shitting us right?"

Jiraiya frowned, "I wish, the moment Natsu got some, he wanted more. You should have seen Minerva after he finished him nearly fucked her stupid and he was still horny. So, I think he is going to come here, where he will find the strongest women he met from the beginning and try to procreate with them."

Wendy paled, "So Natsu is coming here to rape us?!" as many of the other females paled with her.

Jiraiya shook his head "No, unfortunately Natsu has been paying attention to men and has become a successful playboy when it comes to girls. After the spar, it took him probably only two minutes to get Minerva on her knees."

"Wait a second." Said Gajeel, "If you know all this stuff, why didn't you stop him before it got this far."

Jiraiya grinned before he pulled out a red book with the title Icha Icha Dragon Paradise. "It provided me with a lot of writing inspiration for a new series of books."

"A NEW ICHA ICHA BOOK." Screamed the older men as they dogged pile on Jiraiya to get the new copy of their favorite smut.

Erza frowned "Men. Well, everyone we do not have a lot of options in this situation."

"What do you mean?" said Gray, "Let just kick his butt and lock him up until he calms down."

"Oh, so you want to be the one to fight an angry dragon during mating season." Said Gajeel.

"Anyway." Said Erza, "The only way out of this is to sacrifice one of ourselves to sate Natsu lust. I volunteer myself."

"Wait a second." Said Cana, "Why would you volunteer yourself when we could all just run."

Erza blushed but quickly shook it off "Natsu is too fast and would catch us, if he want the strongest females to bare his children then he will most likely come for me first." Of course Erza wouldn't tell the other that she would not mind being taken by the dragon slayer in such a manner. It played out just like one of her erotic novels she read at night and with her feelings for the pinkette, baring his children and being his number one mate would be a wish comes true.

Lucy was about to through in her own two cent when she realized something, "Hey, where's Mirajane?"

Lisanna spoke up, "She heard a knock at the door and went to check on who it is."

Everyone nodded before realization hit.

A horny Natsu was coming to town.

Mirajane went by herself to check on a visitor to the guild.

Oh, crap.

Downstairs:

Mirajane giggled as a frisky Natsu held her close and whispered in her ear. While the rational part of he mind told her to fight him off, her demonic side welcomed the advances of such a strong male and encouraged her to give into him.

As Natsu began to slip a strap of her dress down, a voice filled with anger boomed across the hall.

"NEE-SAN" screamed Elfman, as he darted forward to stop Natsu only to receive a kick to the face dropping him like a sack of bricks.

"NATSU" screamed Erza, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MIRAJANE!" "_and why aren't you doing that to me_?" though Erza.

Natsu grinned as he kissed Mirajane's neck, getting a moan from her. "I'm about to get nasty!" he growled and resumed kissing Mirajane's neck.

Erza growled as she stomped forward "Natsu, you want the strongest female that Fairy Tail has, and that would be me!"

Natsu stopped his kissing to give heed to Erza though before Mirajane grabbed his head and pulled his face into her breast holding him close. There was no way in hell she would allow her former rival to take her man especially after the toe curling caresses he gave her.

Mirajane glared at Erza as her old personality returned, "He is with the strongest right now, so why don't you get lost you red haired dumpster rat!"

Erza saw red. She refused to lose Natsu to her rival and after noticing how Mirajane used her body to keep Natsu interested came up with an idea. She grinned as a bright light enveloped her body and she re-quipped into one of her armor, but not just any armor.

Her Seduction Armor.

Erza smiled seductively at Natsu and blew him a kiss, "Oh, Natsu." She grinned as Natsu let go of Mirajane and began planting kisses along Erza visible skin drawing moans from her.

Mirajane growled before smirking, two can play that game, and changed into her Satan Soul form. She grinned as she saw Natsu eyes undress her and he quickly returned to where he started.

Erza growled as she stood up and grabbed Natsu head and placing it against her breast to pull him away from Mirajane, who grabbed his pants to pull him back.

The tug of war continued with neither side gaining ground until…

RIIIIIIIIIIP!

Everyone gasped as Natsu pants ripped leaving him in all his glory.

Mirajane and Erza saw Natsu exposed manhood before they shared the same thought as blood leaked from their nose.

"HE'S MINE"

"Oh MY!" thought the girls of Fairy Tail as they saw that Natsu may look human but he takes after dragons in more way than one.

"My pride!" cried the men as they felt any semblance of their manhood fade away as they witnessed the girls fawning over the monster that was called Natsu Jr.

"I think I should throw my hat in the ring." Said Cana as she approach the dueling S-class mages fighting over who would be Natsu mate.

"He has the closest connection with me!" yelled Lucy as she joined the fray with the other girls.

Alzack chuckled, "At least I know you won't leave me for that dragon wills you Bisca. Bisca?" said Alzack looking for his girlfriend who went and join the fray to fight for her right to have the dragon.

Natsu grinned as the girls crowded around him and decided to end the fight. He grabbed Erza and Mirajane and pulled them close causing them to blush.

Taking notice of the disappoint me on the other girls faces, Natsu grinned, "Don't worry girls, I have a plan to make everyone happy. Instead of choosing one girl, I choose all of you." As he kissed Erza and Mirajane, causing them to swoon as the other girls cheered.

"What about us?" cried the men. Natsu grinned, "You have five seconds to leave before I burn you to a crisp." As Natsu eye's turned red and flames filled his mouth.

The men quickly left.

Natsu grinned, "Now, where was I?"

Meanwhile, in Sabertooth Guild:

A certain young woman after noticing certain symptoms told her father about a new addition to their family.

"YOUR WHAT!?" screamed a very angry Jiemma.

* * *

Omake 3 aka God Mode Natsu:

Natsu pouted as he walked down the street, still thinking of his latest defeat at Erza hands. So distracted he did not pay attention to where he was walking until…

BAM!

Natsu groaned from his new found spot on the ground, and looked up to the person that knocked him down. The man was tall and lithe, with a wrinkled face and a beard tied into a goatee. He wears black robes with extravagant designs on them and a hood.

The man frowned and gave Natsu a hand up, "My apologies young man, I was not watching wear I was going."

Natsu wanted to say something rash back but sighed, "No problem, old man." And started to knock some dust off his scarf.

This drew the man's eye, "Young man, that scarf, where did you get it from?"

Natsu blinked, "It was a gift from my father before he left."

The man nodded, "Ah, so your father slew a dragon and gave you a scarf made of scales?"

Natsu blanched, "NO! My father was the dragon!"

"WHAT!?" screamed the old man, "So, does that mean you are a dragonborn?"

Natsu frowned, "No, I am a dragon slayer. The fire dragon slayer to be exact!"

Eyes widening, the man nodded, "That is truly impressive indeed, but I wonder, do you know of the dragon shout?"

Natsu shook his head, "No, but I do have a dragon's roar."

Nodding, the man said, "Well, that is nice and all but how about I teach you a few words of the dragon shout, I can sense your power and I believe it would be a useful tool in your arsenal."

This intrigued Natsu, "Can I use it to beat Erza and anyone who challenge the people I care about it?"

"My boy, the shout I am about to teach you will easily best those who challenge you."

Natsu grinned, "Let go then Old Man!"

The man grinned, "Alright then my boy, but if I am going to teach you this spell, you should know my name. It's Arngrier."

Natsu nodded, "Okay then, my name is Natsu Dragneel."

One day later.

The entire guild of Fairy Tail took a seat around the guild's battle ground as the waited for the massacre…. I mean battle to begin. On one side of the field stood Erza, Laxus, Gildarts, Mirajane, Gray, and Gajeel; while on the other side of the field stood a grinning Natsu all by himself.

Yes, my dear readers, after Natsu training, he returned to the guild and challenged every S-rank member and any else who wanted to take part in a him against them match. This deal was that if they beat him, he wouldn't say a word for a month, if he beat them, he would get instant S-class status.

With such odds stacked against Natsu and the fact they could go a month without a screaming Natsu, the mages took the deal.

Laxus smirked, " You sure you want to do this twerp." As he cracked his knuckles.

Natsu grinned, "You wish, you know what, to make this fight fair, I'll even close my eyes."

Gray and the other mages scowled at Natsu before they all charged at once.

_**Believe they even existed.**_

Wendy jumped in her seat as chanting filled the area, yet no one was saying a word.

"What is that?"

_**And when the truth finally dawns**_

Makarov blinked as a memory from his youth returned to him, of a man wearing Viking armor and possessing a unique magical power. Makarov quickly started backing up, knowing what was going to happen soon.

_**It dawns in fire.**_

Everyone watched as Erza requipped into her Flame Empress armor, Laxus activated his Dragon Force, Mirajane changed into her Satan Soul, and their fellow mages prepared attack to turn Natsu into a bloody lump on the ground.

_**But,**_

Everyone cringed as the saw the mages close in on Natsu who still kept his eyes clothes with a smile on his face.

_**There's one they fear.**_

As the mages neared, Natsu opened his eyes and his magic flooded the area.

_**In their tongue, he's Dovahkiin:**_

Natsu narrowed his eyes as he took a deep breath and prepared the chant that would end this fight.

_**Dragon Born!**_

"FUS RO DAH", roared Natsu.

The moments these words left Natsu lips, chaos erupted.

_**Nuz aan sul, fent alok,**_

"WHATS HAPPENING!?" screamed Laxus as he tried to hold his ground but was blown away by the wave of magic.

_**fod fin vul dovah nok,**_

Erza was not having any better luck as she tried to use her sword to hold her ground, until Mirajane, who was blown away by Natsu attack, slammed into her sending them flying.

_**fen kos nahlot mahfaeraak ahrk ruz!**_

"WHEN DID NATSU GET SO POWERFUL!?" screamed Lucy as she tried to keep her skirt down as the magic sent her and everyone that came to watch the match flying through the air.

_**Paaz Keizaal fen kos stin nol bein Alduin jot!**_

Eventually the chant, cleared the entire field, knocking out everyone who witness the God Mode of attacks, leaving Natsu the only one standing.

Natsu grinned as he looked at the chaos and destruction he caused, "Yeah, I'm awesome."

Two hours later:

If anyone walked into Fairy Tail, they would have noticed three things. They would find Natsu, correction, S-Rank Natsu with a shit-eating grin on his face. Many of the men glaring at Natsu, most notably Laxus, for knocking them out without laying a single hit on them. Finally, they would find the girls of Fairy Tail eying Natsu.

Erza frowned as she tried to focus on eating her strawberry cake, but couldn't due to the look she saw Mirajane shot Natsu for the umpteenth time that day.

Deciding she had enough Erza growled at Mirajane, "Okay, why are you and the other girls keep eyeing Natsu like he's a piece of meat."

Mirajane grinned, "Well, that match we had against him earlier really showed me how mature Natsu has grown over the years, and the feelings his spell sent through my body only helps the matter."

Erza blushed. After waking up from Natsu attacked, she noticed her panties were wet. Mortified that she may have soiled herself, similar to what Laxus did, who Natsu had yet to stop teasing about, she discovered that Natsu attacked left her and the other girls aroused.

This combined with the fact that Natsu has become increasingly handsome, many of the girls made plans to take Natsu off the market.

"_Not if I can help it_." Thought Erza as she sent a glare at Cana, who was sitting extremely close to Natsu with his arm between her breasts.

Erza had to catch herself before she drew her blade and challenged every single girl in the guild to a battle for Natsu's heat.

"Did you hear what I said Erza?" Erza blinked as she finally noticed that Mirajane was still talking to her.

"I am sorry Mirajane, what were you talking about?"

Mirajane grinned, "Well, I was thinking. If Natsu can arouse me just by saying a few words, I wonder what he can do using certain body parts." She grinned perversely as she gazed at Natsu.

Erza didn't even realized she had a sword in her hand as she attack Mirajane and decided to start the battle royale for Natsu heart without telling others.

* * *

Wow, I think I just made a new Natsu couple in an omake. Also, I always seen stories where Naruto would train Natsu, but I think it would be cool if Natsu was trained by Jiraiya and to see the influence Jiraiya has on him. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed and this is the first part to a two part story and if anyone wants to continue with one of the omakes, feel free.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everyone, I'm back with the next chapter of A Win is a Win. Not much to say but I decided to add the label of Natsu/crack ideas to my story. Mainly because the omakes are long and are mainly new crack idea for Natsu that are not really seen in the Fairy Tail archives, which in all honesty, nothing is really seen under the wave of Natsu/Lucy stories. Also, I kind of hit a dead-end when it comes to Natsu centric stories, and if anyone can recommend a few that are not Natsu and Lucy or Erza with anyone other then Natsu (The only pairing I like for her is Natsu, which is hypocritical, since I don't mind Natsu being with anyone else other than Lucy) Once again, thanks to Neoshadows for the inspiration and encouragement for this story, the style is dedicated to Kuroyagi's story Rebellion and I written an Omake in tribute to Neoshadows's story The Story of a Dragon, a Knight,and a Fairy Hunter. Also, sorry for any grammar problems, I combed through the story twice and I think I got most.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story, which is Fairy Tail, Naruto, or any other crossover elements found in this story.

* * *

Natsu took a deep breath as he took his spot on the Fairy Tail training ground, with Erza taking her spot on the far side. Natsu barely paid attention as Freed stood in the middle of the field explaining the rules of the match. Instead, he focused on the advice Jiraiya gave him earlier that day.

"_Remember Natsu, in order for this technique to work, the girl has to be insanely angry." _thought Natsu.

As Freed finished explaining the rules and left the field, Natsu braced himself as he saw Erza assume an attack position.

"Hey Erza! I'm surprised that you are out here like that!"

Erza blinked, "Why are you surprised Natsu?"

"Oh, because everyone knows that gingers usually burst into flames when they stand in the sun!"

Everyone gasped.

Lucy, Gajeel, and Wendy stumbled in surprise as everyone around them quickly hurried back to the forest line and they quickly followed.

"Why are we all the way back here?" asked Lucy.

Levy, who was hiding in a tree, looked down and said, "Natsu has broken one of the unwritten rules of Fairy Tail."

"What's that?"

"You never make ginger jokes about Erza."

Especially not after what happened to the last person to make those jokes.

Poor Eric Cartman

Rest his poor, fat, bastard, soul.

* * *

Back to the training field:

Erza frowned, "Natsu, I know that someone even as idiotic as you would know better than to make such a generalization about people simply because of their hair color."

Natsu grinned, "I do know that, but I am not talking about people because gingers don't have souls meaning that they are not people."

Erza growled as a tick mark appeared on her head.

"Hey Erza, fact, gingers are a dying breed because their genetics are so crappy, that the offspring of gingers will never pick up the ginger traits of either parent."

Second tick mark appeared on her head.

"Hey Erza, do you think that someone could call this a hate crime since I have your unholy, pale, ginger, ass out in the sun; where in any moment you will burst into flames since you don't have a soul?"

Erza saw red.

"Hey Erza, when you went through puberty, did anyone ever call you fire crotch?"

"Yep, I know I did!" called Mirajane before her fellow guild members covered her mouth to avoid drawing Erza anger.

"SO, YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME BECAUSE OF MY HAIR COLOR, HUH! MY HAIR COLOR IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, YOU PINK, HAIRED, BASTARD. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM! NATSU, I AM GOING TO DESTROY YOU IN THE NAME OF THE GINGER PEOPLE!" screamed Erza as her magic flared and she requiped into her Armadura Fairy Armor.

"_Oh shit_!" thought a panicked Natsu, "_Okay, gotta think! What was Jiraiya next step?_"

"_Step number two, stay calm and be ready to react_."

Natsu nodded as prepared himself for Erza assault, "Bring it on, FIRECROTCH!"

Erza roared as her magic power swirled around her and green energy swirled around her sword, "I AM ABOUT TO BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR BODY NATSU! FAIRY PIERCING SWORD!"

Erza rocketed forward, green energy surrounding her person as she readied herself to run Natsu through. While she didn't want to horribly hurt Natsu, he should have known better.

Erza does not tolerate ginger jokes. **EVER**!

Natsu readied himself as Erza grew closer. As everyone closed their eyes, not wanting to see their friend get run through, they didn't see what happened next. Before Erza could touch Natsu, Natsu stepped to the side. He calmly stuck out his foot, catching Erza's foot and causing her to stumble.

"_Now's my chance_." Though Natsu.

Natsu grabbed Erza by the back of her chest armor and one of her legs and dropped into a Indian-sitting style on the ground, bringing Erza into his lap.

"_Step number 3, the moment you have her in position, do not hesitate, you have to act_." Recalled Natsu.

Before Erza could do anything, she gasped as she felt a draft on her behind.

Her naked behind.

Naked.

Behind.

Erza's.

Yes, my dear readers, Natsu has pulled down Erza's skirt and panties, leaving her exposed to the world.

Natsu had to stop and stare as he had an up-close and personal view of Fairy Tail own Titainia, firm, shapely, ass. Hardening his resolve as he felt Erza began to struggle, Natsu raised his hand in the air.

From the forest:

Not hearing the sound of steel slicing through metal, Wendy dared to open her eyes.

"Hey, what is Natsu doing to Erza?"

This caused everyone else to pay attention to what was happening on the field.

"Why is he sitting like that?" said Gajeel.

Why is Erza in his lap?" said Elfman.

"Why are Erza's skirt and panties around her knees?" said Mirajane.

"God, I should have known better then to mess with that Mermaid Tail chick, my nuts are itching like mad." said Laxus.

"Why the fuck are we over here and where are the cameras Gidlarts!?" screamed Makarov as he and Gildarts searched the forest to find the cameras they brought with them.

As everyone began to ask various questions, one sound silenced them all.

SMACK!

A wave of silence fell over the field as everyone watched the unthinkable.

Natsu just smacked Erza on the ass.

In front of everyone in Fairy Tail, who instantly returned to their seats around the training field to watch the show.

Erza was mortified.

"_Oh Kami."_ thought Erza "_Natsu is giving me a spanking! This is wonderful! Wait, no, I have to resist and be a strong and moral righteous role model for the members of the guild!_"

While being spanked by Natsu was one of her greatest fantasies, being spanked in front of people being number one, she was Erza Scarlet. Meaning that she had to be a strong, moral guide, to the members of Fairy Tail; especially Wendy, she needed to be a strong role model on being good and decent to the impressionable young woman.

Now if Erza actually knew some of the dirty thoughts that went through the young woman mind when it came to Natsu, Erza would learn that while Wendy was a wonderful and sweet young lady, when it came to the fire-dragon slayer, some of Wendy's thoughts could give Erza a run for most perverted woman in Fairy Tail.

Erza began to struggle, "Natsu! You perverted bastard! I demand you let go of me this instant!"

SMACK!

Erza eeped as Natsu brought his hand down on her ass again, leaving a bright red hand print on it.

"_Remember, every time she talks back, spank her_." said mental Jiraiya.

"Natsu, when I get out of this I am goin-"

SMACK!

"OW! Natsu that really hurts! I swear I am going to take your balls and gri-"

SMACK!

"You bastard!"

SMACK!

"I kill you!"

SMACK!

"The moment I am free-"

SMACK!

"I'll-"

SMACK!

"I'm-"

SMACK!

"I'm going to suck your balls dry!"

Natsu and everyone on the field froze at Erza declaration. This was then followed by three things,

An eruption of nosebleeds from every single man in Fairy Tail.

Every woman giving their best impression of a tomato.

And Natsu feeling a really strange urge in his stomach and a growth in his pants.

Erza moaned as she lifted her ass higher in the air, "Please, Natsu, punish me! I've been a very bad girl!"

"Wow!" said Cana, "Erza's a masochist and a submissive! Strangely, this doesn't surprise me as much as I thought it would."

Everyone quickly shushed Cana as they went back to enjoying the show.

Natsu was confused. Reason why, he did not expect things to proceed like this. Currently, he had a squirming bare ass Erza in his lap, the strangest urge to do perverted things to said Erza, and a crowd of girls watching his and Erza show.

"_Maybe, I can stop now. I think I finally beaten Erza!_" thought Natsu. "_But what if this is just a trick? What if Erza is only acting like she is submitting, then the moment I let her go, she's sending me straight to the hospital! No, I have to keep going!"_

"Okay, Erza! From this point on, every time I spank you I want you to count off. If you don't count off, I'll spank you twice as hard, understood!"

"Of course, Master Natsu!" cried a flustered Erza.

Natsu blinked at this but shrugged and raised his hand in the air.

SMACK

"One, Master Natsu!"

SMACK

"TWO, MASTER NATSU!"

SMACK

"KYAAAH, it feels so good!"

Natsu frowned, "That not a number Erza! It looks like I am going to have to take this up a notch." Natsu channeled his magic into his spanking hand, covering it in flames. Not enough to burn Erza, but enough to make her ass slight toasty when spanked.

"Alright, I'm all fired up!"

SMACK

"THREE, MY WONDERFUL, GLORIOUS, MASTER NATSU!"

SMACK

"FOUR, YOU SEXY DRAGON SLAYER!"

SMACK

"FIVE, YOU WONDERFUL PINK HAIRED BASTARD!"

SMACK

"SIX, YOU GOD AMONGST MEN!"

Natsu grinned as he looked down at the panting Erza when he smelt a strange scent go past his nose. He wasn't sure but it riled up the primitive feelings inside of him as he tried to locate the source of the scent. Then, realization hit him as he looked down at the moaning and flushed Erza.

The scent was coming from her. Natsu had the decency to blush, while not one of the most up to date guys when it comes to sex, Igneel did teach him most of the basic things when it comes to women and sex and the smell of an aroused woman was something he could not miss.

"I almost got this in the bag." thought Natsu.

"Okay, Erza four more to go."

SMACK

"SIX!" cried Erza

SMACK

"SEVEN!"

SMACK

"EIGHT"

Erza wiggled her hips as she pressed herself into Natsu's knee, which he unknowing rose to ease the sleepiness in his leg.

SMACK

"NINE"

SMACK

This spanking pushed Erza over the edge, as Natsu had slipped lower than he intended and ended up hitting Erza's pussy from behind. Combined with the grinding Erza been doing against Natsu knee, and the hard erection Erza felt pressed into her stomach...

"DEAR SWEET KAMI, TEEEEEN!" screamed Erza, as the sexually repressed knight came across Natsu legs and passed out into a sexually induced coma.

Natsu, wanting to make sure Erza was okay, began lightly massaging her bright red ass, drawing moans from the unconscious girl.

When Natsu was sure Erza was knocked out, he quickly turned her over and picked her up bride maid style, leaving her skirt and panties behind.

Natsu couldn't believe it.

He won.

He finally won.

He beat Erza Scarlet.

"I did it! I finally won!" cheered Natsu as he carried Erza into the guild to place her in the medical bay, leaving the girls and Freed behind.

"That was, wow!" sighed a panting Lucy, definitely hot and bothered by the scene she just witnessed.

"He's so big!" said Evergreen; remember the huge tent that Natsu pants failed to hide when he stood up.

"Oh my." whispered Mirajane, fanning her face as she tried to calm herself down. Luckily or unluckily, depending on who you are, her self-restraint stopped her from taking care of herself with her own hands in front of everyone.

Yet, all the women of Fairy Tail had the same thought,

"_I think I want to spar with Natsu next._"

Deeper into the woods, a certain pervert giggled perversely as he put down his telescope, wiped the blood from his nose, and wrote down notes in his notebook.

"Yep, without a doubt." said Jiraiya, "He is the best apprentice ever!"

* * *

A few hours later:

Everyone had calmed down and returned to the guild, with a few changes. Erza, who awoke from her orgasm a few hours ago, sat quietly at her regular table, sneaking a few glances at Natsu from the corner of her eye.

Recalling the battle, she blushed furiously as she remembers some of the comments afterwards.

* * *

FLASHBACK:

Natsu grinned as he basked in the aftermath of his 'victory' while his fellow guild members went about their activities, unsure if to congratulate him or not. The men has recovered from their blood loss and the only one who wasn't there was Erza, who was still resting.

"NATSU DRAGNEEL!"

This ended when the terrifying shadow of a titan-sized Makarov stood over him.

Natsu gulped, "Yes, sir."

Makarov glared at him, "NATSU!" began Makarov, his voice booming across the room, "DID I WITNESS YOU USING A FORM OF COMBAT, SO DASTARDLY, SO PERVERTED, AGAINST ONE OF MY VERY OWN CHILDREN, IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE GUILD! NOT ONLY MAKING HER SUBMIT TO YOU, BUT GETTING HER TO CALL YOU MASTER AND CUMMING ACROSS YOUR LAP FROM A SIMPLE SPANKING?!"

"Yes, s-sir."

"NATSU, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT!?"

Natsu gulped prepared to get flattened when the unexpected happened.

Makarov shrunk down to his normal height and hugged Natsu.

"My boy! I am so proud of you!"

"WHAT!" screamed every member of the guild.

Makarov pulled back from his hug to look at Natsu, tears in his eyes.

"Natsu, I have been to a lot of places in my life, seen many battles, but I have never seen a battle such as that." Makarov grinned as blood leaked from his nose, "I mean, sure people have tried techniques like the ones you performed for years now, but you are the first one to ever pull it off!"

"What!" screamed Natsu, "You mean that I could have messed up that technique?!" the color draining from his face as he realized what could have happened if he failed.

Makarov laughed "But you didn't my boy, you succeeded when men like Gildarts, Jiraiya, and even myself have failed!" Makarov flinched as he remembered what happened when he tried to do that to Porlyusica when he was a young man. When she finished with him, he couldn't feel his balls for two months.

Makarov eyes shined with pride as he hugged Natsu, "You, my boy, are truly a man among men! Natsu, you are the grandson I always wanted!"

Laxus who was in earshot of the conversation frowned, "But Grandfather, what about me?"

Makarov simply dismissed him with a wave of his hand, "You are the grandson I got, not the one I wanted, like Natsu here!"

"That hurts, Grandfather. That really hurts."

"Who cares? I have a new, awesome, grandson to praise and be proud of, instead of an arrogant little bastard who can't pull his head out of his ass when his guild needs him."

Laxus growled, "Oh yeah, any idiot can smack a girl on the ass! Watch this!"

Laxus proceeded to march over to the bar and up to Mirajane, "Women! Lift your dress up and bend over!"

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" roared Elfman as he rose to defend his sister honor.

Before he could get in Laxus's face, a dainty hand stopped him. This hand belongs to Mirajane, who smiled at her brother, "Elfman, I got this."

She proceeded to turn to Laxus, who had a smug grin on his face thinking she was going to do what he said.

That grin quickly left his face as Mirajane spoke, "Listen here, Laxus. I am going to say this once and only once. If you so much as think that I am going to degrade myself for you to make you feel like more of a man, then you are dead wrong. There is only one man in this entire guild who has a chance to every dominate me and it is damn sure not you. Now, I will let you off with a warning, but if you ever approach me in such a way again, I'll drag you to the deepest, hottest, part of hell. I'll find the most well-endowed demons to run a train on you and turn your ass into a cum dumpster. By the time, they are finished with you the only thing you are going to be thinking is who bitch you are going to be next. Do you understand me?"

Laxus quickly nodded, because during her entire speech, Mirajane smile never left her face. She never raised her voice and she never broke eye contact. Laxus remember now why he never messed with Mirajane when they were children.

Mirajane was a true demon, and you do not fuck with demons.

Mirajane smiled and patted Laxus on the cheek, "Good, now run home and go change your pants, you're stinking up the hall."

Laxus hurried out the door, to find himself a new pair of pants and to cry in a corner.

* * *

End Flashback

While everyone was still unsure how to talk to Natsu, the same could be said about her.

People don't actually start conversation with, "Hey, I wanted to tell you that even though you lost your match, it still turned me on."

Walking through Magnolia, a white haired pervert sneezed.

"_That stupid Natsu_." thought Erza as she glared at Natsu who was currently having a conversation with Lucy and Lisanna.

"_Not only did he have his wicked way with my nubile, virgin body, but he doesn't even have the decency to fuck me with that monster he calls a penis," _Erza blushed,_ "I mean apologize to me. My ass is still sore!"_

At this moment Erza noble and perverted side decided to speak up.

"_We should kill Natsu_!" said her noble side.

"_Why_?" thought Erza.

"_Because he humiliated us in front of everyone_!"

"_Oh come on now, I know that I am not just speaking for myself when I say that orgasm he gave us was better than any we got using are fingers_." said her perverted side.

"_Who cares about that? Who cares about the fact that he made us his bitch and we loved it? Who cares that he has a steel pipe in his pants that we felt against are stomach? Who cared that he enacted fantasy #122? If we don't do something to save face now, will lose the respect we earned as Fairy Tail strongest female mage_! _We must punish him_."

"_To hell with that, I say we should have a no-pants party and invite him."_

"_No! We must punish him!"_

"_No! Let's fuck him!"_

"_Punish"_

"_Fuck"_

"_PUNISH"_

"_FUCK"_

"_PUNISH"_

"_FUCK"_

"WILL YOU BOTH BE QUIET, I DON'T WANT TO PUNISH NATSU OR FUCK HIM INTO THE GROUND RIGHT NOW!" yelled Erza.

Erza face turned the color of her hair as she realized what she just said. Feeling the eyes of everyone in the guild on her, Erza did the most rational thing she could do.

Grab Natsu and drag him out of the guild.

* * *

Back at Training Grounds:

A blushing Erza and a confused Natsu faced each other.

"Um, Erza, why are we out here again?"

Erza took a deep breath to get herself under control, "Natsu, you and me are going to spar again."

"Really? Okay, Erza you're on!" said Natsu as he jumped back to get some distance.

Erza requipped into her Flame Empress armor and aimed her sword at Natsu.

"_Okay, I have to stay in control. I will simply beat Natsu, regain my dignity, and everything will go back to normal_."

With her goals set, Erza charged Natsu, bringing her sword overhead to cut him down the middle.

Natsu quickly dove to the side and before he could retaliate, Erza's foot struck out and hit him across the face. Natsu stumbled back trying to shake the stars from his head, before being put on the defensive as Erza unleashed a flurry of sword strikes upon him.

"_This is perfect!_" thought Erza as she noticed some of the guild members wandered outside to catch the match, "_Everyone will see that what happened earlier was just a fluke and that I, Erza Scarlet, cannot be beaten by Natsu's perverted tactics_."

So distracted by her thoughts, Erza had yet to realize she had stopped moving. When she finally did start paying attention, she noticed that her sword was stuck in a tree and ropes tied her hand to the hilt of her sword, trapping her.

"What the? Natsu!" Erza turned her head to see a grinning Natsu standing beside her, grinning.

"My sensei taught me to always keep rope on my person, for situations where I need to restrain my opponent after a fight!"

Jiraiya actually told Natsu to carry rope on his person in case he meets a kinky chick who was into bondage, but that's besides the point.

Erza paled as she realized what was about to happen as Natsu rubbed his hands together.

"Okay, Natsu. You won, you can let me go now." As she struggled against her bindings and Natsu reached for the lower part of her armor.

"No can do Erza, this could be a trick for you to get me to untie you, and then you beat the shit out of me when you're free." Natsu nodded sagely, or as sagely as anybody could when they are undressing a girl.

With Erza's panties in hand, Natsu quickly stepped back to avoid a kick, "Open wide, Erza."

"NATSU! I WILL RAIN HELLFIRE UPON YOUR- mmghh!" Erza threat was quickly ended as Natsu gagged her with her panties and secured them with some duct tape, another necessity Jiraiya told him to keep on his person, for special circumstances.

"Okay, since you are unable to count, how about 30 smacks on the bottom."

Natsu took Erza shaking her ass as a yes.

"Okay, I'm all fired up!"

SMACK

SMACK

SMACK

Erza moaned in pleasure as Natsu repeatedly struck her bottom, shaking her ass for all to see.

"_Yeah_," said Erza perverted side, "_We should try to defeat Natsu more often_."

"_S-shut up_!" whispered Erza rational side as she squeezed her hips together.

On the sidelines Makarov and Gildarts simply looked at each other. In a normal world, the two strongest mages would have stopped the 'unwanted' suffering of their fellow guild member.

Once again, you cannot put the words 'normal' and 'Fairy Tail' in the same sentence.

Instead the two men high-fived each other and pulled out numerous cameras and camcorders.

"NATSU! YOU TRULY ARE A MAN AMONG MAN!" they cried, tears of pride in their eyes. Yet, these tears did nothing to stop them from getting as many pictures and videos for their own 'private' time.

Ecchi old men.

* * *

Meanwhile:

A blue haired man nodded as he studied the item he held in his hand.

"With this, I can win back the heart of my Erza." as he began to maniacally laugh as lightning striked behind him.

"Ultear-chan," said Meredy as she stood with her back to the blue hair man, "He's doing it again!"

Ultear nodded while flipping through a magazine, "Pretend he's not there sweetheart and lock your door when you sleep.

* * *

Omake 1 (MiraxNatsuxLisa):

Natsu gulped as he pulled at the collar of the dress shirt he wore. After escaping Elfman's wrath after he walked in on him, Mirajane, and Lisanna in a rather compromising position, Mirajane came up with the idea of Natsu having dinner with the Strauss family.

That was why he was wearing a white dress shirt with a nice pair of black pants and dress shoes, sitting across from a wary Elfman, with a smiling Mirajane and Lisanna on the other ends of the table.

"So," started Elfman, trying to break the awkward silence, "I noticed that Mirajane and Freed have been spending a lot of time together, do you fancy the boy Mira-chan?"

Mirajane smiled politely, "No, No, Elfman-san. While Freed is quite handy to have around when shopping or decorating, he is a little too 'sweet' for me." putting extra stress on the word sweet.

"Nonsense, Freed is quite a nice man not the manliest of men but still nice. He dresses in high quality clothes, he takes great pride in his appearance, and he knows multiple show tunes and extensive knowledge about musical theater, I really think you should give him a chance."

Mirajane giggled at Elfman cluelessness, "I don't think so Elfman, though I'm sure that Freed would be quite happy that you have paid so much attention to him." Mirajane then turned to Natsu and flashed him a seductive grin, leaning toward him slightly to draw attention to her assets that her black cocktail dress enhanced.

"Besides, I have my eyes on a certain man of my own."

Elfman nodded, not noticing or more likely ignoring the look his sister was sending Natsu. He turned his focus to his younger sister who held a knife tightly in her hand, with a slight glint in her eye aimed at Mirajane.

"So, Lisanna-chan, has anything interesting happen to you lately?"

Lisanna smiled sweetly at her brother, "Well actually yes, earlier today, I saw a cute, pink, salamander minding his own business when a hideous bat came out of nowhere and started to bother it. Luckily, a beautiful tiger cub came and slashed the bat into pieces before cuddling with the salamander.

"Wow, that was very manly of the tiger don't you think Mirajane-chan?

Mirajane growled as she realized the slight jab her sister made at her, "Very, but I am sure that the bat and the salamander were having quite a nice time, before the annoying, scrawny, tiger decided to but in."

"I doubt that, the tiger and the salamander probably made an arrangement to be married, and the bat hussy was intruding in an area where she didn't belong!" shouted Lisanna.

"Yeah, an agreement they made when they were five! Besides, why would the salamander want a flat chested cub, when he can have a full-breasted bat?"

"Bats and tigers can have breast?" thought the ever clueless Natsu and Elfman.

"Go to hell, you big breasted succubus! My breasts are a decent B-cup!" screamed Lisanna as she leaped across the table to strangle her older sister.

Natsu quickly backed up to avoid the two fighting sisters, but unfortunately spilled some of his wine on his shirt.

"Well, crap." Said Natsu and he studied the stain on his shirt.

This quickly caught Mirajane and Lisanna attention.

"Oh dear, Natsu, your shirt is ruined! You need to go take a shower!" said Mirajane.

Natsu shook his head, "Nah, don't worry about if Mira. It just a simple stain."

Hearing this, Lisanna quickly grabbed the wine bottle and poured the rest on Natsu's shirt, changing its color to match the salamander's hair.

"There, your shirt is ruined! You better take a shower!" sharing a grin with her sister as Natsu fretted over his shirt.

Let it be known, that even when the Strauss sisters are arguing, when it comes to a chance to perv on a pink-haired dragon slayer, they're the best team in existence.

* * *

Later:

Natsu sighed as the hot water of the shower washed over his skin. So focused on the water, Natsu didn't notice the sounds of a drill as a metal screw poked through the wall.

On the other side of the wall, the Strauss sister waited with bated breath as Mirajane drilled a hole through the wall. With her task complete, Mirajane quickly put her face to the hole to peek on the dragon slayer.

"Hurry up, I want my turn!" whined Lisanna.

Mirajane quickly shushed her as she moved back to her peephole. When she finally got a good look, her jaw dropped and blood flooded out of her nose. She started giggling perversely, similar to a rather famous pervert, as she enjoyed the view of the wet, naked, dragon slayer.

"Oh, if he would only turn around some. Then I could see- SWEET KAMI" exclaimed Mirajane as she literally began to drool over the sight of the dragon's slayer third leg.

"Damnit, Mira-chan, let me see." as she shoved her sister out the way to get a look.

Mirajane growled as she was knocked aside, "Like you would even know what to do with it!" but her sister was to far gone in her peeking to pay attention.

Mirajane frowned before she pushed Lisanna to return to her previous spot.

Lisanna punched Mirajane in the shoulder.

Mirajane slapped Lisanna across the face.

This led to Lisanna tackling Mirajane and breaking through the wall, landing on a very surprised dragon slayer.

Lisanna smirked as she realized where she landed, paying no attention to her brother, "Ha, fate has decreed that Natsu and I are destined to be." as she ground her hips into Natsu getting a certain reaction.

Mirajane was about to comment, when Natsu began to speak, or try to. With Mirajane sitting on his face, his lips were moving but no words were coming out. Yet, Mirajane did not seem to mind as her dress had ridden up her thighs during the fight, meaning Natsu mouth was currently pressed into her panty-clad pussy.

Lucky teme.

So, in reply Mirajane just moaned as she moved her hips back in forth.

Hearing the commotion, Elfman quickly ran up the stairs and broke down the bathroom door, "Whats going o-" Elfman paused due to the sight in front of him.

A naked Natsu laid on the ground.

A smiling Lisanna was straddling his waist.

A moaning Mirajane was straddling his face.

"NATSU! YOU PINK HAIRED BASTARD! WE INVITE YOU INTO ARE HOUSE AND WHAT DO YOU DO? YOU SET UP A DEVIOUS SCENARIO WHERE YOU CAN MOLEST MY SISTERS! EVEN GOING SO FAR TO BREAK DOWN A WALL TO DRAG THEIR INNOCENT, BODIES INTO YOUR OWN SICK SEDUCTIONS!"

Never doubt a brother to defend the innocence of his female siblings.

"THIS IS NOT MANLY, NATSU, NOT MANLY AT ALL." Elfman took a deep breath, "Natsu, I know that I do not have the power to keep your evil, unmanly, seductions from my sister; but I know who can! I am going to tell Erza!" and took off out the door.

This got Natsu attention.

"Wait, Elfman! Don't tell Erza!" Natsu slipped out from under the Strauss sister, and took off in pursuit of Elfman, sans clothing.

"Natsu come back, I'm not finished yet!" cried Mirajane and Lisanna as they join the chase.

* * *

Omake 2 (God Mode Natsu):

Jellal would consider himself a resourceful man. He discovered how to create the tower of heaven, how to trick the magic council to power it, and now he had a sacrifice to revive Zeref.

He quickly reviewed his mental checklist:

Rebuild the tower of heaven. Check.

Distract Erza until the Magic Council fired on the Tower of Heaven. Check.

Beat the insufferable Fire Dragon Slayer into the ground. Check,

Count on the same Dragon Slayer to eat Etherion. No, but didn't matter so check.

Count on the Dragon Slayer transforming into a very angry, very strong, dragon-monkey creature. No Check.

Jellal watched in amazement as the fire around the dragon slayer began to grow and change colors, from a orangish-red to a golden yellow. Instead of a dragon appearing behind Natsu a large, golden, gorilla composed of chi roared behind the dragon slayer.

Jellal covered his ears as the dragon slayer roared into the heaven as his power exploded; filling the room they were in. He watched as the dragon slayer grew in height, easily dwarfing him in height, and his muscle bulged and grew bigger, tearing through the dragon slayers vest.

Lines stretched across the dragon slayer body crisscrossing in forth before darkening themselves into a red color, covering every part of him except his hands, face, and torso. His hair grew longer, his bang growing to cover his left eye, while the rest of his hair grew spikier and down to the base of his neck and across his shoulder. The most shocking part of the transformation was the monkey tail that grew from the dragon slayer tailbone, waving easily back and forth.

Jellal didn't know what to say as the monster in front of him said something to Erza, which she blushed at nodded at, before turning back to him.

* * *

Natsu P.O.V:

Natsu was angry.

Scratch that.

He was furious.

No that's not it.

He was filled with rage!

Natsu eyes narrowed in hate as he glared at Jellal. The man who had done the unthinkable.

The man who resurrected the Tower of Heaven, where hundreds of people had died.

The man who planned to sacrifice Erza for his foolish dreams.

The man who killed Simon, who died protecting him and Erza.

Yet, he did the one thing Natsu would never forgive him for.

He made Erza cry.

That one moment threw all of Natsu concern for his own well being out the window as he began to consume the Etherion.

He wanted to be stronger, no, he needed to be stronger. He needed more power to stop the monster he faced. He needed more power so he could finally fight on his own, and not need his friends to save him every time.

He needed more power, because he failed Erza, and caused her to cry. Because he was unable to stop Jellal and her friend Simon paid the price for his weakness.

As he felt his magic threaten to overtake him, he forced himself to remain in control. He needed to remain in control, because if he didn't he could hurt Erza. He paid no heed to the changing of color in his magic, nor the ki-manifested Gorilla standing behind him.

Natsu blanked out as he felt his power overtake him, but he knew that everything would be taken care of.

* * *

Third-Person P.O.V:

When Son Goku defeated Omega Shenron, he ascended to godhood being too powerful to stay on Earth. During his godhood, he met the Supreme Being known as Kami, and was quite surprise to find out Kami was a girl. As time passed, Goku eventually started a relationship with Kami, and through their union, created the first protagonist. The protagonist would go on to become the greatest hero of his universe and for each child they had, would go on to become the greatest hero of their own universe. This was due to the power and characteristics Goku would pass on to each of his offspring, making them all saiyans, but Kami wisely blocked off most of their power to keep wild saiyans from running around across the universe.

Until now.

Natsu was created by a union of Kami and Goku, and since he was a direct descendent of them, he was blessed with the full powers of a saiyan, but had them blocked off.

Until Natsu ate the Etherion, which due to the extreme magically quantity inside of it fueled with Natsu rage unleashed Natsu's full saiyan potential, which transformed him straight to Super Saiyan 4.

Which Jellal was facing right now.

* * *

Erza P.O.V

Erza stared in amazement at the being that stood in the same spot her friend once stood.

"N-Natsu?"

Natsu turned around and Erza gasped as she got a look at his face. Natsu face was older, with sharp feature, and no baby fat. Red eye shadow added to his fearsome appearance but what surprised her the most was his eyes. Natsu eyes were no longer black, they were a light green.

"Hey Erza, I hope you don't mind, but I am about to beat the living shit out of Jellal."

Erza blushed; Natsu voice was definitely deeper than before.

"_It's kinda hot_." thought Erza. Since she didn't trust herself to speak, she simply nodded at Natsu.

Natsu grinned as he took his scarf off his neck and tied it around his waist, before snarling at Jellal.

Two thoughts went through Jellal's head as Natsu charged him.

One, fighting a Super Saiyan 4 is a horrible idea.

Two, his mouth was a great fit for Natsu's fist.

Especially after Natsu knocked his teeth down his throat.

* * *

At Fairy Tail Guild:

When Natsu returned with Erza and his team, he was met with various reactions, which he did not notice as he spent the last hour of his return shoveling food down his throat.

"Erza, what the heck happened to Natsu?" asked Lucy, who winced as she watched Natsu swallowing a whole roasted pig without stopping.

"I'm not sure Lucy, after Natsu ate the Etherion, he turned into that."

"Well, that doesn't give him the right to eat all of the food in the Guild." Said Gray as he got up and approached Natsu, "Hey Flame Brain, leave some for the rest of us!" and reached to snatch a drumstick from Natsu hand.

Bad move.

"Aggh, he eating my hand!" screamed Gray as Natsu place the drumstick and by extension Gray's hand in his mouth and proceeded to chew.

"Natsu, let go of Gray's hand!" commanded Erza, as Natsu began to swing Gray back and forth, like a dog shaking a chew toy in his mouth. Realizing what he was doing, Natsu let go of Gray sending him flying through the roof and out of sight.

Natsu burped and grinned, "Thank you for the meal, Mirajane."

Mirajane blushed, one of the many girls of the guild who found Natsu new appearance sexy, "No problem Natsu."

Grinning, Natsu stood up, "Now that I have eaten and fought, it is time for the rutting."

"What a second, what did he say?" thought the entire guild, sure that Natsu had miss spoken.

That was until he took off his pants.

"MY GOD" thought everyone in the guild, knowing for a fact that Natsu transformation made EVERYTHING bigger.

The men quickly shrunk in themselves, feeling insanely inferior the mage turned saiyan third leg. Well all of the men, except Makarov.

Makarov shrugged when the men looked at him, "Titan Magic works on everything." before giving them a victory sign.

"Natsu!" screamed a red face Erza, "Put your pants back on, NOW!"

"Or leave them off! I'm loving the show!" yelled Cana, with a few catcalls from the women supporting her.

Natsu frowned, "Why? I have fought, eaten, and now it is time to find the strongest female here to lay with and have my child."

Apparently, Kami and Goku forgot that when someone turns into a full blooded saiyan for the first time, they think about three things; Fighting, Food, and Sex.

Natsu already done two of those things.

Erza blushed harder at Natsu's word, "Well you are not doing that here! Now, put your pants on."

Natsu pouted, "Fine, if I can't find a women here, I'll take to the street." and made his way to the door.

Erza grew frantic, if Natsu took to the street to find a women, it could lead to a lot of problems with the Magic Council, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to sate his lust.

That was until she noticed that Natsu was getting excited by the thought of getting some, affecting certain parts of him.

Seeing this, Erza felt blood leak from her nose.

"_Well, I can't leave such a dear friend of my in such a predicament_." And with that thought she leaped into Natsu's arms and order him to take her to his home, which he did happily.

* * *

A week later:

A tired, limping, Erza dragged herself into the guild hall and made her way towards Mirajane.

"Hello Erza, how are you?" said Mirajane before Erza grabbed her and dragged her out of the guild.

"Erza, what are you doing?" said Mirajane as Erza dragged them into an alley.

Erza blushed and mumbled something.

"What was that Erza?"

Mumble Mumble

"I am sorry but I can't understand you."

Erza blushed harder, "I need you to help me satisfy Natsu."

Mirajane blushed, "What was that?"

Erza frowned, "For the last week, Natsu and I have been going at it like rabbits. We have done it in every position possible and he's the reason I have this limp now, he fucked me that hard. The problem is, he is still hard and I need help satisfying him, so I am asking you to join are relationship."

Erza wasn't sure what to expect, but she did not expect Mirajane full out laughing at her.

Erza growled, "What's so funny!?"

Mirajane continued to laugh, "This is to funny, the Great Erza Scarlet was unable to satisfy her man. Now, she needs my help!"

Mirajane bent over from laughing so hard at the fuming Titainia.

"20 inches"

This got her attention, "What was that?"

Erza continued, "Don't bullshit me Mirajane, I know you like Natsu. From all the teasing of him from when we were little, to how you nearly died of a nosebleed when he returned in his feral glory, and he has a 20 inch long, 3 inch wide penis, I know because I nearly choked to death when I first tried to deepthroat him, now are you going to help me or KYAAAH!" screamed Erza as Mirajane transformed into her Satan Soul form and grabbing Erza, took off in the air.

"I'm coming lover!" cried Mirajane as she broke the sound barrier to get to Natsu's house, dragging a screaming Erza with her.

* * *

One Week Later:

Sexually satisfied and exhausted, a nude Mirajane collapsed on Natsu's bed.

"That was wonderful." purred Mira.

Feeling something slap against her arm, she looked over to see Erza frantically slapping against her arm, as Natsu pounded her doggy style.

"Mirajane, I'm so tired, if he keep this up, I might die! While dying from mind-blowing sex is great, I still don't want to die! Tag Out, Tag Out."

"Sorry, Erza, but I'm pretty tired myself so you are on your own for a bit."

"What, you bitch! Help me, aaaahhh" moaned Erza as Natsu flipped her over and began lapping at her breast while his tail rubbed her back.

Mirajane giggled as she removed herself from the bed to stretch her leg when she heard something from the window.

Catching movement outside, she quickly ran over to the window, open it and pulled the spy inside.

"What the-"said Ultear as she found herself in the hand of the silver haired mage.

Mirajane narrowed her eyes, "What are you doing here?"

Ultear grinned and shrugged, "I like to watch."

"I don't believe you."

Ultear smirked, "So what, there's nothing you can do to me to get any information out of me."

Mira frowned at this, not sure what to do.

"NATSU, WRONG HOLE! WRONG HOLE!" she then hear a grunt from Natsu and then a squeal from Erza, "Ohhh, Right hole!" moaned Erza.

Mirajane rolled her eyes, for such a prude, when having sex with Natsu, Erza became really lose.

She then noticed Ultear no longer looking at her but at Natsu, who was currently fucking Erza into next year, with a slight nosebleed.

Mirajane grinned as an idea came to her, "Hey Natsu. Catch!"

"What." cried Ultear before Mirajane threw her to Natsu who easily caught her.

"What are you doing, get your hands off of me you damn, dirty, ape. Don't take my shirt! Get your tail out of my pants! What are you, oh my" Ultear moaned as Natsu hands and tail went to work as he still sodomized Erza.

Mirajane grinned as her planned work before she felt a sense of lust course through her body. Smiling, she walked back over to the bed.

Meanwhile, on the heavenly plain Kami watched the proceeding between the foursome before shouting,

"GOKU!"

Elsewhere:

Wendy cowered in front of the men that stood before her. He had to be the strangest man she has ever seen.

"You have got to be kidding me. This whelp somehow managed to activate my bloodline." said the Prince of Saiyans, Vegeta.

* * *

Omake #3 (This one is a tribute to Neoshadowz's, The Story of a Dragon, a Knight, and a Fairy Hunter):

Erza was not happy.

Why you asked.

Well, after defeating Faust and returning to Earthland through the Anima, she thought everything would be back to normal. Unfortunately, someone ended up tagging along.

That someone current had Natsu's tongue halfway down their throat and his hands on their breast.

That said person would be no other than Erza Knightwalker, Erza's Edolas counterpart. The same counterpart who had tried to kill her and her friends. The same counterpart who now sat in Natsu's lap furiously making out, only a few steps away from fucking on the table they ate at.

Yet, Erza was not happy because her counterpart was making out with her man, she meant Natsu Dragneel, her friend and team member who was being corrupted by her evil twin.

She wasn't jealous; she just didn't want pure, innocent, Natsu to be corrupted by her evil counterpart.

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Growing tired of the make out session the fairy slayer and dragon were having across from her, she coughed into her hand to get their attention.

Nothing.

She coughed harder.

Still nothing.

She tried again.

Erza Knightwalker stopped kissing Natsu to turn to her counterpart, while Natsu went to suck on her neck.

"Geez, Scarlet, take your disease elsewhere. Some of us are trying to make out with are boyfriends over her." She grinned as Scarlet glared at her while she moved Natsu head to pay attention to her scantily clad breast.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" screamed Erza, flipping the table over missing Natsu and Knightwalker, but landing on top of Lucy and Gray.

"You!" growled Erza, fueled by jealously-induced rage, I mean, hero protecting the innocence rage.

"How did you get here from Edolas, you don't have any magic!"

Knightwalker grinned, "I don't, but what's inside me, that my precious dragon gave me, does."

Scarlet gasped, "You mean-"

Knightwalker grinned, "Yep, my big dick dragon slayer put a baby inside of me!"

"WHAT" yelled everyone in the guild.

"Another Natsu!" cried Gray, already imaging the horror two Natsu could bring, especially when one is half Natsu and half Knightwalker.

"There is no God!" screamed Gray as he ran out the guild to hide in the woods, refusing to be a part of a guild that contained two Natsu.

Makarov was the exact opposite, "GRANDBABIES!" he squealed as he flew down to fawn over the now smirking Knightwalker, as with the other women of Fairy Tail except Erza.

Lucy on the other hand, "Congratulations, but I have to ask, when did it happen?"

Knightwalker grinned, "Well-"

* * *

Flashback:

Natsu groaned as he opened his eyes to find himself on a cot inside a decent sized room. Noticing that this was not a prison room, since it was furnished, despite how sparsely.

The room held a weapon rack filled with sharp and deadly weapons, a large rug on the ground, and a bookshelf on the far side of the room.

Walking over Natsu noticed a bright blue stuff horse with a rainbow on it's side on the highest self and reached up to pick it up.

"Don't you dare touch that!"

Natsu spun around, "ERZA! What are you doing here, and what happened to your hair?"

'Erza' smirked, "I am Erza Knightwalker, not the Erza you know, and right now you are my personal prisoner."

"What? How?"

"When your friends came here to save you and the blue haired girl, I was able to intercept them. Apparently, when someone called Gray saw me, he freaked out and threw you at me to save himself, knocking you out in the process."

"_Gray, you son of a bitch_." thought Natsu.

"Now, to make sure you don't escape, I decided to keep you in my room. But if you touch Rainbow Dash, your dead!"

Natsu smirked, an idea coming to his head. He reached up and grabbed Rainbow Dash, "Oh, you mean this thing?"

Knightwalker paled, "Yes, that. Now put her down."

"Oh, yeah. What if I do this?" said Natsu as he began to twist the toy head back and forth.

"I'm warning you." growled Knightwalker.

RIIIIP

"Oops, my bad." said Natsu as he held the beheaded Rainbow Dash in his hands.

"You son of a bitch!" roared Knightwalker as she charged across the room at Natsu, forgetting her staff by the door.

Natsu was ready though as he sidestepped Knightwalker charge and pushed her into the bookshelf.

Knightwalker growled and lashed out with a kick, sending Natsu across the room. She then pounced on Natsu and began raining punches on his face. Natsu managed to grab Knightwalker wrist and head-butted her sending her reeling back. He then throw an uppercut, catching Knightwalker under the chin, forcing her off him. He quickly followed with a punch to the stomach and face before tackling her to the bed.

Natsu quickly grabbed Knightwalker's wrist pinning her arms above her head. Knightwalker responded by wrapped her legs around Natsu waist and began to squeeze.

"I'm going to kill you!" yelled Knightwalker as she wiggled in Natsu grasp.

"Not if I kill you first!" said Natsu as he began to grind against Knightwalker,

"I'll have my squadron use your head as a piss bucket!Mhmmm!" said Knightwalker as she began to focus more on the grinding Natsu was doing.

Natsu paid no heed to her words as he started to grind harder against the woman beneath him, causing her to moan. Acting on instant, Natsu brought his head down and began to kiss Knightwalker on the neck.

"Oh, yeah. That's the spot dragon boy." as she moved her hips in sync with the dragon slayer.

Natsu growled as he bit down harder on the red haired neck, nearly drawing blood as he released Knightwalker's hand to roughly grope her breast.

"That it dragon, I like it rough." moaned Knightwalker as she ran her fingers through Natsu hair before moving to remove his vest.

* * *

End Flashback:

"-and then we ripped each other clothes off and fucked hard enough that it would have made porn stars blush. I guess the magical power that my baby inherited from his father was strong enough for the Anima to pull me through as well, and here I am." said Knightwalker.

Blushes and nosebleed could be seen across the guild as Knightwalker finished her tale.

"Natsu." Started a blushing Erza, "Do you not know what risk you could have taken having sex with that whore!" pointing at Knightwalker who glared back. "She could have gave you a disease. Don't you know what safe sex is?"

Natsu shrugged. "Safe what?"

Erza face palmed, "Natsu, your sensei is one of the greatest perverts in the region. He must have schooled you in the precaution of have unprotected sex."

"Actually Erza," said Jiraiya sitting in the back of the guild during Knightwalker's flashback, " I taught Natsu many of the things needed to pleasure a woman-"

"And I must say thank you for that." said Knightwalker as she returned to Natsu lap.

"You're welcome. I taught Natsu the many ways to pleasure women but not about safe sex. There is no such thing as safe sex, if you're having sex and not doing something freaky, then you are not doing it right. That motto is something I lived by since I was a young boy, as a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure I probably have some kids spread across the laugh." laughed Jiraiya.

That was until he made eye contact with the Strauss Siblings.

As they made eye contact, they noticed a few things.

The similarity between Jiraiya's hair and theirs.

The similar physique between Jiraiya and Elfman.

The playfulness shared between him, Lisanna, and Mirajane.

And when you look close enough, they looked a lot like father, son, and daughter.

Both parties gasped as they realized the glaring similarities between the four.

"Daddy." whispered the Strauss Siblings.

Jiraiya eyes widened in horror "Gotta go! Deadbeat Dad Escape No Jutsu!" as Jiraiya disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Daddy! Come back!" cried the Strauss Siblings as they gave chase to their father.

Knightwalker watched this with an amused face before turning to Natsu and the others, "Anyway, I'm pregnant, Natsu the father, and now that I am here; I'm going to find a magical weapon, join Natsu team, kick bad guy ass, have wicked, hot, sex with Natsu, and give birth to are kick-ass child. Then, we are going to raise are child to kick-ass, take names, and become as badass and epic as its parents are!"

"Yeah, the awesomeness that is Natsu Dragneel and Erza Knightwalker will be known to all! I'm all fired up!" roared Natsu as he picked up Knightwalker in a bridal style as flames roared around him.

"Oh, it looks like somebodies ready to have some fun! Let get out of here Natsu and violate some public areas." Knightwalker threw a look at Scarlet, "Oh, and don' think I have forgotten about you Scarlet. I am willing to share Natsu with you, if you are willing to have fun with both of us." Before Scarlet could respond Knightwalker continued, "and don't think about it like that, think about it as a form of masturbation, since I am you, just really hot, girl on girl masturbation." before Natsu took off out the door back to his place.

Lucy blushed at the lewdness that was Knightwalker before she noticed something,

"Where did Erza go?"

* * *

At Natsu place:

Erza blushed as she watched Natsu grope and lick Knightwalker naked chest, who moans encouraged him to continue.

Knightwalker gasped as Natsu hit a sweet spot before looking at Erza, "If you want to join us, you are going to have to lose the armor."

Erza blushed but quickly reequipped out of her armor into a lacy bra and a pair of g-sting panties. She climb onto the bed and approached the rutting couple.

"Have you ever done this with a girl before?" asked Scarlet.

Knightwalker shook her head, "In all honesty, Natsu was my first. I did find Natsu Dragion cute but I didn't want to fight Mirajane for him, that woman is scary. Beside, think about it like this, we are basically the same person physically, so we should know how each other work, and with Natsu here, this is going to be awesome."

Erza blushed again and said, "How do we start?"

"Well, you could give me a kiss, unless you're scared." Knightwalker laughed until Scarlet attacked her and laid a heavy kiss on her lips.

Natsu looked up and felt the fire in his loins burning as he watched the two identically red heads, make out.

"Twincest for the win!" he whispered enjoying the show until the two broke apart.

"Natsu." cooed Scarlet.

"We're cold and we need you to warm us up" cooed Knightwalker as she lay down with Scarlet on top of her. Natsu did not hesitate to rip off his pants before joining the two.

"TWINCEST IS AWESOME!" he screamed as the threesome continued.

* * *

Five years later:

Gray sighed as he pushed through the door to his old guild. After leaving five years ago, he trained to prepare himself mentally and physically for the demon spawn that would be Natsu and Erza Knightwalker child.

Feeling confident, he strode into the guild, noticing nothing unusual until…

"ANARCHY, ANARCHY" screamed a little girl with bright red hair which in certain lights seemed pink, wearing a black t-shirt with red shorts, rushing past Gray.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS BUT I LIKE IT!" screamed a little boy with bright pink hair, wearing a red shirt and black pants chasing after the little girl.

Gray growled "Watch wear you're going you little brats!"

The kids stopped and turned around to glare at Gray.

"Who the fuck do you think your talking to you, you old bitch!" screamed the little girl.

"Yeah, I'm all jacked up on mountain dew, I'll mess you up!" shouted the little boy.

Gray stepped forward refusing to be cowed by the two 5-year olds, "Who are you little bastards anyway?"

The little girl smirked, "I am Tayuya Dragneel and this is my brother Shanks Dragneel!"

Gray paled, "That means-"

"Tayuya, Shanks, come here you two." Said a voice behind him and Gray turned to see Natsu Dragneel, with his two wives Erza Scarlet and Erza Knightwalker.

The kids smiled as they ran past Gray, making sure to kick him in the shins, before going to their respective mothers.

Knightwalker smiled as she picked up Tayuya, "Now, Tayuya, what have I told you?"

The little girl grinned, "To always say fuck off to anybody who doubt my power and when I find a man of my own, fight him to see if he worthy and do a lot of naughty things with him, mommy."

In a distant land, a young five year old Naruto paled for some reason he did not understand.

Knightwalker nodded and kissed her daughter on the forehead, getting a giggle from her.

Scarlet looked at her son and said, "Now, what have I taught you Shanks?"

Shanks smiled, "To forgive those for minor things but when they hurt my friends, unleash the awesomeness that I am and kick butt."

Scarlet smiled and kissed her son on the cheek.

Natsu grinned at his kids, "And what have I taught you?"

Shanks and Tayuya smiled, "That being awesome is in my blood!"

"He had two. Two demon spawn from his loins." said Gray as he realized the horror that was the Dragneel family. Gray then did the only thing he could think of.

"THERE IS NO GOD!" and ran screaming back into the woods.

The Dragneel family looked at each other and said the same thing,

"What's his problem?"

* * *

Omake # 4 (Alternate Happy)

Young Natsu and Lisanna waited in excitement as their egg began to hatch. As light began to leak out of the shell, everyone waited with bated breath.

Finally, the light consumed the shell, blinding everyone before it died down.

Where the egg once rested, now rested another creature. The creature was small, able to fit in someone's palm. It had brown fur, with white fur on its paws. Around its neck, it had golden fur and between its eyebrow it had red fur in the shape of a crown. The oddest thing about the cat was it bright yellow eyes and that it tail seem to be made of a cloud.

The last aspect of the kitten was that it had the angriest look anyone ever seen on a kitten face.

The kitten growled at everyone as it paced back and forth.

"That is one ugly cat." said Laxus while a few people nodded.

Unfortunately, the kitten heard it. Angrily stomping its feet, the cat was consumed in flames before it tackled Laxus hitting him square in the face.

"Arrgh, you stupid cat!" yelled Laxus as he swung at the kitten who leaped back landing in Lisanna arms.

While Laxus dealt with the burn on its face, Lisanna turned to Natsu.

"So Natsu, what do you want to name him?" as she motioned toward the kitten in her arms.

Natsu rubbed his chin as he stared at the angry kitten, who hissed and swiped at him.

"We will name him… Happy."

* * *

A few years later:

Lisanna had died.

The skys seemed to respond to the sadness felt by her guild as they mourn the loss of one of their members. Yet one member mourned her more than others.

Natsu sat numbly in front of the makeshift grave he made for Lisanna, his tears mingling with the rain. As he sat there, he heard rustling coming from the bushes to his left, and watched as a small, brown , kitten walked out.

"Happy." Thought Natsu, realizing he hadn't seen the cat since word that Lisanna had died reached the guild.

The young kitten walked over to Natsu and sat down. They both sat in the rain, reminiscing of the person they lost.

"I miss her."

Natsu turned with a start at the kitten, hearing it talk for the first time.

"I do to." said Natsu, unsure of what to say to the kitten.

"Do you, do you think that I had been stronger, she would have took me with her, and I could have helped?" said Happy.

Natsu's heart went out to the kitten, those same words being his thoughts for the last hour.

He reached out and picked the kitten up and put him in his lap. He slowly stroked the kitten hair as they mourned the loss of their loved one.

Natsu sighed, "Hey Happy, how about we make a deal?"

The kitten looked up at Natsu, signaling him to continue.

"How about we work together, to get stronger, so that we can protect the ones we care about when they need us?"

"You'll help me become stronger?" asked Happy.

"Will help each other and will become an unstoppable team!"

"…I think I would like that." said Happy as he looked up into the face of his partner.

* * *

Years later:

Natsu glared at Cobra as he stood on top of a building facing down Cobra and his flying snake.

"Give up Fire-Dragon Slayer. With Cuberos here, I can easily fly out of the reach of your attacks and decimate you with are speed."

Natsu smirked, "You could if didn't have my partner to give me a hand." taking in a deep breath Natsu shouted, "HAPPY!"

ROOOAAAR

Cobra stumbled as the roar shook his sensitive ears. Regaining his balance, Cobra eyes widened in horror as a large fireball came flying at him. Luckily, Cuberos moved out of the way, saving him. Cobra's eyes widened in amazement as he found where the fireball came from.

Standing beside Natsu was a lion-like creature that easily dwarfed him in height. The lion had brown fur that covered the majority of its body. It has white paws and brown paw pads, and black cuff-like bands on its legs. It has a red face with a white plate that resembles a handlebar mustache on its face, and a three-pointed yellow crest on its forehead.

Natsu grinned as he patted Happy on the back, receiving a purr of happiness from the lion. "Cobra, I would like for you to meet my partner Happy the Entei. Happy, I would like you the man we are about to crush." said Natsu as he jumped on Happy's back.

"All right, we are all fired up!" roared Natsu and Happy as they were surrounded by flames and charged into battle.

* * *

Okay end of chapter two, I hope everyone it. For omake #4, I noticed there are virtually no stories where Natsu gets another creature from the egg other then exceed happy, so I decided to create a short idea where Natsu gets an Entei egg. I thought about Charizard but I decided to go with a cat theme. For anyone, who wants to see what a baby Entei looks like, search fro Pre-Evolution Entei or Entheew and it will be the first picture you see. Anyway, thanks you all for the reviews and favorites and I am glad this story is so well received, thanks for the encouragement. Anyway, here is a preview for the next chapter and remember to drop a review if you like, hate, or have an idea for the story you wanted to share.

Next Time on A Win is A Win:

"_Erza, why are you naked in my bed?"_

"_Well, this is your house Natsu, why aren't you naked in your bed?_

"_Touché."_

* * *

"_Now, Natsu. Do you know why I did that?" asked Erza._

"_Because I didn't spoon with you last night?" said Natsu_

"_That's part of the reason."_

* * *

"_OH KAMI, I thinks she popped them!" screamed the high pitched Laxus._

* * *

"_You asked for this Natsu, wearing that fuck-me vest and that sexy scarf. It's like you wanted me to molest you." Said Erza._

* * *

"_Help me, Mirajane. Erza wants to do perverted things with my body." Screamed Natsu_

"_Don't worry Natsu, I'll protect you and then do perverted things of my own to your rock hard body." Said Mirajane_

"_What was that?"_

"_Nothing!"_

* * *

"_Natsu, we can do this the easy way or the hard way." Said Erza_

"_What's the difference?" said Natsu_

"_Well, the soft way is we start off with kissing and cuddling and then we make are way to gentle sweet love making. The hard way is if you fight me, then I tie you up suck on your dick like it is a popsicle, then I ride you until the sun comes up wearing a cowboy hat and a pair of boots. You know what, never mind. I like option two better, so we're doing that. NOW TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS"_

Remember, feel free to drop a review.


	3. Status of Story

Hello fellow fan fiction readers, fans, people who aren't fan, and people who stumbled on this story because the amount of "OMG! The guild abused Lucy and now she ran away to become an uber-powered dragon slayer who can beat everybody and apparently every single male in Fiore loves her." is starting to become too much along with the amount of Erza and Jellal stories.

Yet, it is also great because a lot of new NatsuxErza fics are popping up daily and that is simply wonderful.

Anyway, thank you to everyone who favorited, followed, and reviewed A Win is A Win and Giraffe, Bears, and Periods. Oh My!. I appreciate the criticism and advice and it helps me make this story better. Now, this update is not to say that this story is dead, but explain the future of this story and the lack of updates. Last month I have been taking college final exams and essays. Luckily, I finished with a 3.8 as my final grade but I had little time to work on my stories. Anyway, now that summer break has started, I now have the time to work on "A Win is a Win" "Kicking, Screaming, and Scalping" "Dragon Hunting Season" and "I Will Make You Epic(Wait For It)dary! The reason the updates are taking a while is because I have a lot of ideas for my fics, and I am trying to work out what fits and what doesn't, so it is taking a while before they will be posted.

If you don't know "I Will Make You Epic(Wait For It)dary, is a parody/humor fic based on the idea that at a young age, Natsu was picked by Gildarts to be trained to be his successor as the most epic person in Fairy Tail. It will be M-rated with raunchy dialogue, nudity, Neil Patrick Harris Laxus with hints of Zapp Brannigan (am I the only one who thinks Laxus is the anime version of Neil and Zapp combined?),elderphile!Wendy, demonic!Mirajane, and Cana as a rival to Natsu and a flurry of crossovers and memes.

By this I mean, during Natsu training, Gildarts will take him to various universes where he will learn Falcon Punches, Fus Ro Dahs, Kamehameha, and even He-man's power sword. This means that Natsu will be overpowered and epic, and it will consist of a harem for him. This won't be a chapter story but a long epic one-shot which will feature significant moments from the anime and moments I created myself.

Kicking, Screaming, and Scalping is a fic based off an omake from the second chapter of A Win is a Win about Natsu, Scarlett, and Knightwalker family together. Basically, Natsu is asked to lead his children soccer game against Minato's team. Since Natsu does not know how to play soccer, he teaches his kids his way of playing, highly destructive and violent. It will hold the Natsu and Erzas triangle, Minato and Kushina with a splash of Mikoto, and Naruto and Natsu's daughter Tayuya. Expect violence, Tayuya trying to scalp Sasuke, Natsu vs. Minato, Knightwalker and Scarlett vs. Kushina, and Jiraiya facing the wrath of all three red heads.

Dragon Hunting Season was an idea given to me by Yoh Narukami(Great author, definitely read work). Basically, this is side piece for a Win is a Win, where Jiraiya needs money so he decides to kidnap Natsu, create a swamp, drop him in the middle of it and have the girls of Fairy Tail pay him so they can have a chance to hunt him down. (I may include more if I can figure out ways to add them or anyone can provide some ideas on how to add them.) Whoever gets him out of the swamp first gets to keep him for a week at four-star resorts. This will feature older, dragon force, berserk Wendy, sniper-rifle carrying Bisca (this fic might be the first to have a real NatsuxBisca pairing) a determined Erza, horny Mirajane, and a crafty Cana. One of the highlights for this story will be a Wendy vs. Erza fight.

Anyway, if anyone has any ideas on moves they want to see in I Will Make You Epic, women you want to see in Dragon Hunting Season, or ideas in general, leave it in a review or pm me. If you haven't noticed most of the humor I have in my stories comes from American Dad, Family Guy, Anchorman, and off the wall comedies. Also, I started watching Archer and I plan on getting Laxus an "exceed" if you know what I mean. So, if you know any shows that are humorous or abstract that you think would fit in one of the stories let me know.

Not to leave anyone hanging though, here are a few previews from the next chapter of A Win is a Win and I Will Make You Epic(Wait for it) dary.

* * *

A Win is A Win:

"You see Erza, I like you but I think we are moving way too fast." cautioned Natsu, feeling braver as he noticed the calmness that Erza radiated.

"So, you mean that those spanking and that 1000 Years of Death techniques you used on me was not you admitting your feelings for me?" asked Erza as she slowly stood up from the table.

Natsu smiled sheepishly, "Well, Jiraiya-sensei said that I could use them to beat female opponents, and I did like giving you spankings, but you giving me a handjob in front of everyone in the guild is a little bit too much Erza."

"I see." said Erza, as she walked slowly to the door of the guild, eyes downcast.

Natsu smiled, "_Freed was right_." He thought, "_I kept it simple and everything okay! I guess I didn't have to kill her like Laxus said_." Nodding Natsu made his way to the door.

CLINK

SLAM

Natsu froze as he noticed that Erza hadn't open the door to the guild, but instead locked it with a key and use a wooden beam beside it to bar the door.

Nodding at her work, Erza turned around, her hair shielding her eyes, "Right now, with the door locked and barred, the guild magic has kicked in putting the guild in in red-alert mode, which means no one, can get in, but more importantly no one can get out."

Natsu gulped, definitely not liking how the situation was playing out.

"Natsu, I..I…I love you Natsu. It's not easy for me to say this but I do. I love you with all my heart Natsu. I know I am tough on you, but it is really hard for me to express myself. But now, it feels like all my love for you is pumping through my veins!" Erza movements became erratic as she paced back and forth in front of a cautious Natsu, "And now I find out you don't accept my feelings!" screamed Erza as she smashed a table with a punch.

Natsu gulped as Erza turned her gaze on him, noticing a pink outline around her pupil, "No, Natsu. You're going to love me. Even if I have to force you."

Mind made up Erza slowly began to stalk toward Natsu, who was clearly freaked out as he began to use table and chairs to make a barrier between him and Erza.

"Erza, lets talk about this! You're starting to scare me!" panicked Natsu, really regretting not following Laxus idea of breaking up with a girl.

Erza scowled as she knocked a table over with a swipe of her hands, "Enough talk! Natsu Dragneel, YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE ME!" screamed Erza as she lunged.

Natsu did what any man would do when face with a crazy, horny, Erza.

He screamed like a girl and prayed to any deity above for help.

* * *

Natsu cowered in fear as he hid in Makarov office, praying to all that was good and holy that Erza wouldn't find him. He was currently wearing a shredding pair of pants that could now be called shorts after Erza tore the legs off while he tried to crawl away. His vest was scraps on the floor in the guild main room and Erza currently had his trademark scarf tied around her neck.

Frowning, Natsu placed his hand on his neck where his scarf used to be, only to feel a piece of string around his neck. Following the string, he noticed a bright red whistle on it. A grin broke off across Natsu face as he recalled where he got the whistle from.

"_Happy, why are you giving me this whistle?"_

"_Well, Natsu. I heard about how you were going to break up with Erza, and in case things go wrong, I brought you a rape whistle! If she tries to rape you, you can blow the whistle and she will stop!"_

"_Really!?" exclaimed Natsu, gazing at the whistle in a whole new light._

"_Yeah, I always have your best interest at heart, Natsu! You're my best friend, I love you!"_

"_I love you too, pal!"_

Natsu wiped a tear from his eye as he recalled his friendship with the exceed. Natsu quickly brought and blew, anticipating the rescue that would come for him.

"Is that the come-find-and-rape-me whistle?" called Erza before the door to Makarov's office exploded, leaving a horny Erza in its wake.

Yeah, the thing about rape whistle, they only work when someone other than your attempted rapist is in the area.

"Damn you Happy!" screamed Natsu as Erza lunged for him again.

* * *

"You know you guys," started Laxus, "I think I am going to try and be a better person. Be nicer to my friends and guild mates, stop trying to cut Wendy's head off so I can still her powers and become the Highlander; you know, just be a better person in general."

Freed, Gajeel, Bickslow, and Gray stood in shock after hearing Laxus's confession. Gray thought about it before smiling and placing a hand on Laxus's shoulder.

"Wow, Laxus. That must have been really tough for yo-"

Gray didn't get a chance to finish he sentence as Laxus cocked his fist back.

"Lightning Dragon's Nutpunch!"

"Gyaaah!" screamed Gray as he fell to the ground, clutching his royal gems after the devastating lightning coated nutpunch Laxus gave him.

"I can't believe you fell for that!" laughed Laxus, "I love myself and I'll never change! And one day, I am going to cut Wendy's head off, absorb her powers, and become the Highlander!"

"You asshole." whispered Gray

"That's numero uno asshole to you!"

"Oh, what do we have here!" Gray froze, which is funny for an ice-mage, as a feminine voice filled the darkened street the Fairy Tail men were standing in, "Is that a vulnerable Gray who can't defend himself from his fiancé's advances!"

"Kami no! Quick, you guys, help me!" screamed Gray, as a water tentacle stretched out from an alley and wrap around Gray's leg. "No! Unicorns don't exist, unicorns don't exist!" screamed Gray as he was dragged into the alley.

The men simply stared in silence as their friend was dragged away to some watery, sex-dungeon, most likely never to see light again.

"I don't know about you guys, but I am starving! Let's get a burrito!" said Laxus, as he walked away, not a care in the world.

* * *

I Will Make You Epic(Wait for it)Dary!

"Yep, Natsu! As my apprentice, you can have anything you want."

"Really?" asked six-years-old Natsu.

"Anything!" promised Gildarts.

Smiling, Natsu walked up to Laxus and held his hand out expectantly.

Laxus glared at Natsu, "What do you want?"

"Your headphones!"

"What! No way, you can't have my headphones!"

Natsu pouted, "Gildarts! Laxus won't give me his headphones!"

"Laxus! You give Natsu your headphones or I am gonna hatchet you!"

Laxus frowned, "But-"

Gildarts narrowed his eyes as he pulled a hatchet from behind his back.

"Here you go!" said Laxus, as he gave Natsu his head phones and ran off.

"Come on, Erza! Who was the mystery guy that saved the guild!" whined Mirajane.

"For the last time, I don't know! He came out of nowhere, put me behind him, used some kind of shout that the deflected the Jupiter Cannon Blast, then he jumped in the air and use some kind of move called **Falcon Punch **and blew up the Phantom Lord guild."

"Hmm, I wonder who he was. I mean, why he would come save us like that?" pondered Cana, as she and her fellow guild members thought about the identity of their mystery savior.

That was until music started to fill the air.

"What the hell is that?" asked Gray before the doors to the guild blew open and a hooded man and winged tiger walked into the guild and strutted toward the bar.

_When I walk in the spot, this is what I see_

_Everybody stops and they staring at me_

_I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it_

_I'm sexy and I know it._

"Freeze!" shouted Erza, "Who the hell are you?" as she and her fellow guild member got into attack position in case the intruder was an enemy.

"I'm shocked Erza!" said the man, his voice deep and strong, "I mean, I was only gone for 12 years!"

Confused, Erza could only watch as the man pulled down his hood and her eyes widen.

Pink hair.

"NATSU" shrieked Erza.

"NATSU!" screamed the rest of the guild.

Erza frantically began to look Natsu over, "Natsu! What happened to you! You're… You're…"

"Drop dead gorgeous!" screamed Mirajane as she pushed Erza aside to gaze at Natsu.

The past twelve years were very good to Natsu, thanks to proper dieting (apparently you could eat food that was not on fire!) and exercise, Natsu now stood at 6 foot 5, his pink hair slightly longer, now reaching the base of his neck. He wore a brown cape on his shoulder, forgoing a shirt displaying his muscled torso to the world, along with a pair of red gi pants and sandals on his feet. Yet, the reason everyone knew it was Natsu was the dragon scarf tied around his waist.

"My god, Natsu! What happened to you?" asked Lisanna as she stepped up to gaze at Natsu.

Natsu grinned, "Training. Lots and lots of training!"

"Wow, Natsu! You are so sexy!" cooed Mirajane as she traced circles on his bare chest.

"Thanks Mirajane! I am sexy and I know it, and my theme song makes sure everyone else knows it too."

"Uh-huh. Hey Natsu, I said a while ago that I was going to give you some when you came back, so how about we go back to my room and AACK!" cried Mirajane and she soon found herself on the ground.

Erza glared at her rival, "Mirajane! How about you stop molesting Natsu and do something useful!"

Mirajane growled, "As if you can talk, Firecrotch!"

Before Erza could respond, she finally noticed that during her time beside Natsu, she was slowly running her hands across his chest.

"Kyaah!" screamed Erza as she distanced herself from Natsu.

"Now's my chance!" said Mirajane, as she grabbed Natsu's hand and ran away.

* * *

"Erza, I don't have sex." Said Natsu.

"You don't."

"No, I have sex pummeling! It something that Gildarts taught me, basically, it's when I fuck a girl so hard, I make her hate her vagina."

Erza wasn't sure how to respond to that.

* * *

"Look everyone!" cried Laxus as he burst through the door, "I have my very own exceed!" and held up a yellow cat with black spots.

"Uh, Laxus. That's not an exceed." said Evergreen.

"Yes, he is. I found him eating a squirrel so I picked him up and brought him back with me. His name is Babou!"

Freed stepped closer to get a look at the animal, but stayed out of range of the severely ticked off animal, whom was currently trying to alternate between ripping his face off and taking swipes at Laxus.

"Actually, Laxus, this is an ocelot. It is a member of the –"

"Freed, shut up. I don't care about your science dribble, I just want everyone to see my brand new exceed!"

Babou, the ocelot, finally giving up its efforts to claw someone to death, managed to wiggle out of Laxus's hands and began to move around the guild.

"See! He is already learning to like the guild!" beamed Laxus

"AHH!" screamed Mirajane, "Laxus, your damn cat just peed on me!" screamed the platinum haired beauty, as the animal in question quickly moved away from Mirajane and hid under a table.

"Aw! He's self-conscious! I have an idea, to make him less nervous, everybody dpee on something."

Freed shivered in disgust, "Laxus, I don't think that is neces-"Freed froze in mid-comment as Laxus activated his dragon force and towered over the made.

"Everybody pee! **NOW**!"

* * *

"Laxus, are you gay for Natsu?" asked Gray.

"What!" said Laxus, as he laughed nervously, "I just have a strong bro-love for him."

"That sounds pretty gay to me." said Gajeel.

"Would it be gay if I shoved my fist up your ass!" growled Laxus.

"…Yeah, that would be pretty gay."

"Fuck you, Gajeel." growled Laxus.

"…That's even gayer."

* * *

"Knightwalker! What the hell are you doing?" screamed Erza as she noticed the red head bobbing up and down on Natsu's lap.

Said red-head lifted her head up and took a deep breath, "I am trying to give my husband a blowjob!"

"WHAT!" Yep, that got the guild attention.

"You can't give Natsu a blowjob in the guild hall!" screamed Erza.

"Why not?" pouted Knightwalker, "I don't see Natsu complaining!" nodding at said dragon slayer who was currently incapacitated.

"I don't care! The only person who can give Natsu a blowjob is me!" yelled Erza, before she realized what she said.

"AH HA! I know you were a pervert! God, you have to get laid! Luckily, I willing to share Natsu with you, right Natsu?"

"Raggle Flaggle." moaned Natsu.

"As if I would want to share him with you!" growled Erza, "Anyway, blowjobs are not allowed inside the guild!"

"Wait a second, Erza." said Laxus as he stepped forward, "I don't think it's fair for you to rid blowjobs from the guild."

"Tough shit. There will be no blowjobs in the guild." Erza turned by to Knightwalker, "Dammit Knightwalker, take Natsu dick out of your mouth!"

"That's not fair! I don't see you telling Cana and Mirajane to stop!"

"What!" roared Erza, before she flipped the table over, causing it to land on Lucy. "Cana, Mirajane! What the hell are you doing?"

Cana sighed as she took Natsu' testicle out of her mouth, "What does it look like we're doing, Mirajane, Knightwalker, and I are implementing are schedule for having sex with Natsu. We alternate between the right testicle, left testicle, and shaft. We each take one an alternate every five minutes." Cana stopped her explanation to glare at Knightwalker, "But some of us don't know how to share!"

"Hey, I am new here. So, I should have more time!"

"Bitch! We already worked out the schedule! Its lick, suck, pass. Stop hogging!"

"Enough!" screamed a flustered Erza, "From now on, there will be no more blowjobs in the guild."

Laxus raised his hand.

Erza sighed, "Yes, Laxus?"

"What about handjobs?"

"No handjobs! Mirajane, take Natsu's dick out of your mouth!"

"Dammit, Mirajane! We had a schedule!" screamed Cana and she tried to pry the demoness off of Natsu's manhood.

"No handjobs!" screamed Laxus, "Erza, that's could kill me!"

"Oh yeah, how?"

"I am not happy to admit this… but I have a disease. It is a very sexy disease called Sexlexia. If I don't take part in some kind of sexual act on a daily basis, I could die." said Laxus.

Gray scoffed, "Sexlexia is not real."

"YES IT IS!" roared Laxus, knocking Gray out of his chair, "It is a real condition that I have recently self-diagnosed myself with and I need blowjobs to cure it."

"I agree with Laxus." started Jet,"Se-"

"The conversation is for guild members only, you unimportant space filler!"

"I am a guild member!" cried Jet.

"You have to be loved in order to be a guild member!" yelled Laxus, "Levy dropped you and Droy for Gajeel in two seconds. The messed up part about it is that he kicked you guy's asses and she still hooked with him!"

Jet dropped to the floor as the realization of his role in the guild became known to him.

"Anyway," started Laxus,

"Knightwalker! What are you doing!?" screamed Erza, who finally started to pay attention to her counterpart.

"What does it, ohh Natsu, look like I am doing?" yelled Erza twin as she bounced on Natsu lap.

"It looks like you are hogging Natsu again, you bitch!" growled Cana as Natsu played with her breast, while simultaneously making out with Mirajane.

"Damn it, Cana! You tried to kill him earlier for getting more attention from your father! How did you get into this harem anyway! Yeah Natsu, tear my pussy up you big, dicked, bastard!"

"The same way you did! I got into a fight with Natsu and the next thing I know I am bent over against a wall getting railed by him!"

"Enough!" screamed Erza, slowly losing her mind watching her crush have sex with her fellow female guild members, "Have you all lost your mind, there will be no sex in this guild hall! We have children here!"

"Oh, don't mind me." said Wendy, as she took picture of the foursome, "This is actually giving me some…tips!" Wendy grinned mischievously as she licked her lips and gazed at Natsu.

Natsu despite the fact that he was currently having sex with three women couldn't help but shiver at Wendy's predatory gaze.

Knightwalker sighed before she slowly rose from Natsu lap, "Fine Erza, you win." as she lifted the table off the unconscious Wendy and set it right.

Erza smiled. Maybe she was wrong about her counterpart.

Until Knighwalker ripped the rest of her clothes off, bent over the table, and spread her firm ass cheeks," Natsu, quick! Erza didn't say anything about anal. Go,Go,Go!"

Natsu shrugged. Gildarts always said that if a woman was hot and willing, you would have to be gay to turn her down.

Knightwalker squealed as Natsu lined himself up and thrust forward, "I love you, my big dick dragonslayer."

"I love you too, my psychotic, future, wife." said Natsu.

"Damn it, Knightwalker. We had a schedule!" screamed Cana.

"I call next!" called Mirajane as she stated taking off her leather pants and tank top, displaying her voluptuous body to everyone.

"What!? I'm next you bat-headed bitch!" screamed Cana as she worked on taking her pants off.

"No one is going to be next."

Everyone turned to see a dark aura surround Erza as her magic power grew.

"Especially after I kill you whores!" roared Erza, "_And take Natsu for myself!"_ she thought.

Mind made up, Erza howled as she lunged for the foursome, slamming into Knightwalker.

Amazingly though, despite fighting off Erza, Cana, and Mirajane, she still managed to keep Natsu deep inside her.

Now that is what you call a trooper.

As the rest of the guild broke into chaos, with Laxus catching a Falcon Punch to the face by Natsu for trying to feel up Cana, one blue haired girl continued to take pictures.

Wendy nodded sagely pictures of Natsu and his girls in hand, "I am definitely masturbating to this tonight."

"Ah, Mirajane!" screamed Knightwalker, "Stop biting my nipple. Learn to lick and pinch! Pay attention to Cana. Natsu, I don't want to walk tomorrow so don't feel afraid to tear my ass up! Erza, if you don't stop trying to punch me and start getting naked, I am not sharing Natsu with you!"

Wendy nodded again, "Definitely masturbating to this."

* * *

Okay, everyone. I hope these preview were enough to satisfy you until the next round of chapters and stories are up. I wanted to leave the previews a bit vague to keep everyone on their toes. How did Knightwalker join Fairy Tail? Why did Cana fight Natsu? And why does it seem like Wendy might molest Natsu?

I can't tell you yet, but what I can tell you is that In A Win is A Win, Natsu is going to learn that it is not good to keep a sex upped girl on the edge, Jellal magical concoction for Erza is going to lead to a lot of problems, and Erza is probably going to rape Natsu. Anyway, everything should be up by mid-June so stay tune. In the meantime, I plan on going back and cleaning up a few of my chapters .

Omni Out.


End file.
